iZombie Dreams of Hunters
by ChaosLilKat
Summary: Liv was quite certain she was the only monster out there, the only undead thing, until she ate the brains of Tracy Callahan, Hunter. And she thought the the sociopathic killer was the most confusing brain she'd ever eat.
1. Life's Little Complications

(Author's note: If you're familiar with iZombie you know Liv has visions that have dialogue in them but she is seeing them in first person POV. In thinking about this story I was trying to figure out a way to convey that so that my readers can keep track of what's going on since I will also be writing her internal thoughts. This is what I came up with. _**If it's bold italics it's a vision : **__regular italics is just an internal thought. _Hope that makes sense. Onward and upward to greater things. Also, let's sort of pretend the Mark of Cain is not in play, go back a season or two when the boys were a bit less troubled shall we. So current timeline with Liv and a few years ago with the boys. Go with it. It's fanfic.)

**FRIDAY APRIL 5th**

Liv looked at the two corpses that were in front of her, "Not to seem ungrateful or like I'm becoming a brain snob but when my choice of dinner is either a woman that's been horribly mutilated or an Alzheimer's patient that got shot in a drive by I am not all that thrilled with my options. See horrible death or slowly lose my mind over the next few days while hoping it comes back and I remember who I am and where I work."

"Oooh new hashtag!" Ravi looked up from the corpse of the mutilated woman, "#firstworldzombieproblems." He favored her with an optimistic look, "Like it?"

"No. No hashtags, ever." She huffed and picked up the bonesaw. "I thought we already agreed on that."

Ravi shrugged, slightly disappointed she'd just shot down his rather clever idea. "I just thought it'd be fun to try to get zombie trending on twitter. No one would actually think it was real."

"Ravi, a hashtag defeats the purpose of secrets don't you think." She pointed out as she put on her goggles and sighed.

"Dinner choice made?" Ravi asked.

"What's another violent, disturbing set of visions in the grand scheme of things. Let's open her up."

Ravi nodded, the bonesaw powered on and bone dust started flying.

**TUESDAY NIGHT APRIL 3rd**

Sam was laying in bed, binge watching the original Law and Order on his laptop. It was his guilty pleasure that no one, not even Dean knew about. Even though he tended to figure out who did it about ten minutes in, the courtroom scenes, the legal jargon and the predictability of the show provided him an odd sense of peace and he'd get sucked into the show for hours. _Things I never got to do before we found the Bunker. Not only do I have my own space but there's plenty of concrete and walls between Dean's room and mine so there's no chance in hell I can hear his damn porn, finally. _His phone rang, and the number that popped up on his screen brought back a slew of rather intense memories, and not intense in a bad way. There was a smile on his face when he answered the phone, "Hi Sexpot." That'd been his nickname for Tracy, she'd earned it in more than one way.

"Sam! I need backup."

If the words didn't chase away the good memories, her tone did. Tracy was a hunter, a damn good one and she sounded scared and desperate. Neither of which she tended to be. She'd been born into the life like he and Dean, if she was scared it was serious. "What's up? Where are you?"

"Seattle. I was chasing a werewolf, or I thought I was. It's gotten complicated and I don't know what to do. I need help," She broke off and he heard a howl in the background.

"Get inside now!" He ordered. If he could hear the wolf it had to be close.

"I am inside! Shit!"

He heard a gunshot, a high pitched snarl that sounded like her shot had hit the wolf. She was breathing fast and hard when she spoke again. "Get here as fast as you can. I'm at..." She screamed, it heard like the phone dropped and the call went dead.

"Tracy!"

Seconds later he was pounding on Dean's door, "Get up! We gotta move now!"

The door flew open. Dean was in pair of sweats, toothbrush in his mouth and toothpaste trickling down the left side of his mouth, "What's got you so upset?" He mumbled while he kept brushing.

"Tracy got hit by a werewolf, she's in Seattle and I hope to Hell she's still alive when we get there. Get packed. Move!" He spun and started running back to his room, Dean's voice chased him down the hallway.

"Tracy? Tracy who?"

"Callahan!" He shouted over his shoulder. "Pack now, talk on the way."

"Calla...oh...Callahan," Dean mused. He had his own memories of her, which mostly consisted of her shooting him down repeatedly, laughing at his offers, giving him the most seductive smile she could and walking away to spend time with someone else. "Damn, hope she's okay." He finished brushing his teeth, packed as fast as he could and met Sam, who was already standing by the Impala pacing.

"She's tough and smart. She'll be fine," Dean said, trying to reassure his brother.

Sam didn't reply, just threw his bags in the trunk and got into the passenger seat. "No breaks. We're driving straight through."

"That was the plan," he replied. Baby's engine roared and gravel flew as Dean pulled away from the Bunker.

Two days later they crossed into Seattle's city limits, Sam hadn't been able to contact her and had been ceaselessly searching for reports of bodies in the local news.

"We're almost there Sam. We'll figure it out, I promise." He finally decided to ask the question that had been on his mind since Sam had pounded on the door, "I know she's a hunter and all but I didn't think you two were that close. We haven't seen her in years."

Sam shifted in the seat and looked away, "She called and asked for help, like I told you. That's all."

Dean wasn't buying it but he figured he'd find out one way or another some time down the road.

"Let's get a room and start calling hospitals tomorrow." _Please be alive, please._


	2. Things You'd Never Dreamed You'd Know

**(Technical update: Liv's visions. Italics are what she's seeing, standard font is her reactions to it. Sorry for the confusion. Looked at it and realized all italics would be confusing.)**

**Friday April 5th Early Morning.**

Sam didn't sleep that night, he was too busy calling hospitals and listening to the police scanner. He struck out with the hospitals but not with the police scanner.A call about a mutilated body caught his attention and his blood ran cold as the officer who'd made it to the scene reported it as a young woman.

"Dean!"

Dean nodded, "I heard it. Fed thread time. Get the address."

They pulled up to the scene about twenty minutes later and discovered it was a small, privately owned, rather run down looking storage facility in a shady part of town. They walked up to the police line and were met by a cop. "Stay back guys."

Dean flashed his badge first, "Agents Liefson and Lee."

"Huh, like the guys from Rush," the cop noted, "They pairing you up based on names now."

Dean shot Sam a slightly surprised look.

"Alphabetically I think," Sam stated, eyes already looking past the cop to the tarp covered body on the ground not fifteen feet away. "You know how bureaucrats are. Who's the victim?"

The cop shrugged, "Whoever she was, there's not much left of her. No ID, no bags, nothing. What brings the FBI around?"

"String of mutilated bodies we've been tracking," Dean answered as he ducked under the tape, Sam followed suit. "Just seein' if this one fits the pattern, won't take but a second."

As much as he didn't want to see what was under the tarp, Sam lengthened his stride and got there a few seconds before Dean and pulled the tarp up. The only thing that saved him from blowing their cover was Dean blocking the view of the cop.

"Pull it together," Dean hissed then looked down. "Oh hell."

Whatever had attacked her had for some inexplicable reason not injured her face but the rest of her hadn't been so lucky. Strips of her skin had been ripped off, her chest was split wide open and they assumed the heart was missing, there were burn marks, massive bruises and it looked like most of her bones had been broken.

"Breathe Sam, breathe," Dean instructed.

_This is not a wolf kill, focus on facts. _He had to try to stay rational as long as they were around cops. He forced himself to drop the tarp like he didn't know who she was and look up at Dean. "Yeah, fits the pattern." He had to maintain their cover.

"Where are they taking her?" Dean asked the cop.

"City morgue over on 12th and Central. Closest one, although she probably won't care," the cop answered as he nodded towards Tracy's body.

Sam knew he didn't mean anything by it but that didn't stop him from having to fight the urge to punch him, "All right. Thanks."

"Give it a few hours," the cop continued, "The MEs there are top notch, a bit weird, especially that new chick Liv but they'll have something for you soon."

Sam gave the cop a stiff nod and he and Dean went back to the car.

"Sam?" Dean asked as soon as the doors shut.

He just shook his head, too enraged to say anything. _We'll kill what did this Tracy, I promise._

**_LATER AT THE MORGUE_**

"Whoever she was, she was in good shape," Ravi speculated, "What's left of her muscles are pretty toned. She was rather pretty too."

Liv was measuring the height of the woman that laid on the cold metal table in front of her, "Tall too, if you take into account the broken legs she was right around six feet tall. If she were blonde she'd look like some sort of Viking warrior."

"I've always preferred brunettes myself," Ravi replied as he went about trying to determine cause of death. He pushed a few strands of Tracy's long brown hair out of his way, "It looks like the heart was ripped out post mortem. This is going to take some time, with all these wounds it's a bit of a challenge to figure out what actually killed her."

"Clive should be down soon, looking for another "vision". As much as I like helping him out, I'm starting to feel a bit like a trained seal. It's like he expects me to have visions as soon as someone ends up on the table." She put her measuring tape down, picked up a scalpel and started inspecting the wounds. "Do some of these look like really weird bites to you?"

"Indeed, canine I'm guessing but not like any dog I've ever seen."

The hunger came over her, it wasn't like regular hunger for food. _Instead of my stomach grumbling I start staring at Ravi like he's food and I can feel my mind hyperfocusing on the need for brains. I have no idea how long I would have stayed more alive than undead if I hadn't be able to work here. Oh crap, he's noticed. _

Ravi shot her an inquisitive look then pulled a notebook out of his pocket and made a note. "Hungry again?" He asked, his tone calm and matter of fact.

"Yes, you do realize that there's part of me that wants to eat you right?"

"Of course," he answered with a smile, "but I need to document every pattern of yours. You never know what may hold a clue for that cure. Go eat. You should try a brain smoothie with kale. Get some extra iron and minerals."

She set the scalpel down and shook her head, "I don't think malnutrition is really that great of a concern for me now." _Time to try to find yet another way to give brains flavor. My new never ending quest. _She pulled the little tupperware container full of brains out of the fridge, took another look at the mutilated woman and took a deep breath. _Whoever did that to you, I hope between the two of us we can find you some peace somehow. _

She settled for her usual concoction of Ramen a la Cerebellum but this time tried some spicy bbq sauce she'd purchased. The bottle promised to set your intestines on fire. _Do my intestines even still function at all? I mean, I haven't had to use the bathroom since the party but something must be happening inside to process the brains, right? More things I should mention to Ravi but then he'd probably want to dissect me somehow. _The first taste of her lunch did bring a bit of heat to her tongue and throat but the quickly faded, O_h well, worth a shot. _The rest of the meal tasted somewhat bland but it did sate her hunger.

About an hour her and Ravi were elbow deep in body parts when two rather handsome men in suits walked down the stairs.

"Agents Lee and Liefson," the shorter one of the two, although he wasn't all that short, said as they showed their badges. She noticed two things right off, one, he had amazing green eyes, and the second was that these agents had shown up before even Clive had. That was not normal police procedure at all, usually the Feds worked through the local PD at first.

"Agents. How can I help you?" Ravi said while holding his hands away from his chest, "I'd shake your hands, but, well, as you can see."

"No problem. What can you tell us about her?"

The taller one looked at her, and she could see in his eyes that this was not just another case. He stepped closer to her and the vision hit.

_**"Sam! I need backup." **_

**I'm on a phone, something's trying to break through the door. What is it? **

_**"What's up? Where are you?" The strong, concerned voice replied.**_

_**"Seattle. I was chasing a werewolf, or I thought it was. It's gotten complicated and I don't know what to do." **_

**Wait? What? A werewolf? They're real? This is an old house. Why is she here? Oh God, here it comes again. **

**_"Get here as fast as you can. I'm at..." _**

**What is that? **

**_The door burst open and a monster she'd never seen before came bounding towards her on all fours..._**

"Liv?" Ravi's voice pulled her back, but barely.

"Uh...time of death?" She vaguely remembered one of the agents asking that. "Not sure yet. We're going to pull a liver temp next."

"This needs to be top priority," the taller one ordered. She caught the look the green eyed agent shot at the one standing next to her. It was a quick warning glance, like the taller one was pushing too hard.

"Of course Agents," Ravi said. She noticed he'd caught the strange interplay between the two and the fact that no local cop had come down to tell them that the Feds were taking over. "Are you working with an officer here? I want to make sure we keep everyone in the loop."

"Actually we're working some cases that are similar to this," the shorter one replied. "We sort of got a jump on your local guys. Here's our cards, just call us when you know more. Thanks."

"Just set them on the desk." Ravi instructed as he pointed to his desk.

"Right, let's go Agent." The shorter one continued.

The one standing next to her tightened his jaw but nodded, "We'll be in touch. Thanks."

_That voice! She was talking to him!_

She stared after them as they walked back up the stairs. Ravi waited until they heard the door shut, "Vision?"

"Yes, and I don't think they're FBI."

Ravi scoffed, "What gave that away? The fact that they look like models or their last names are two of the band members of Rush? Or could it be that the badges they flashed were from before the FBI changed over to the ones with the magnetic strips and holograms on them?"

"D, all of the above," she replied, "Well that and Clive hasn't even been down here yet and the FBI comes busting in."

"Huh," Ravi's hands stopped slicing into the corpse, "Hadn't thought of that one. So?" His voice became slightly conspiratorial, "Who are they?"

"I..." she paused, "I don't think I'm the only monster out there. She was on the phone and told someone and I think it was the taller FBI guy that she was hunting a werewolf, and the thing that burst through the door," She shuddered and not much made her react physically anymore, "It wasn't anything I've ever seen before."

Ravi set down his tools, "Well now, that's interesting."

"Let's keep at it," she told him, "I think the taller one's name is Sam. He cared for her, I saw it in his face and she called him when she was in trouble. He wants answers, let's get them for him."

"Zombie PI is on the case then?" Ravi asked.

"Yes. I think I am."

Ravi picked his scalpel back up and they searched for the answers that the women's body could give them while she waited for the brains she'd eaten to fill in the blanks.


	3. When You Have to Trust The Dead

Ravi and Liv finally got a hit on the facial recognition database, "Tracy Callahan," Liv said, "Looks like she's had an interesting life. Suspected grave desecration, credit card fraud, a few bar fights. Look at these reports, somehow she's always skated by, never serving any actual time. She must have been an expert in evading police, look at all these warrants."

"Yet you maintain she's a good person at heart." Ravi mused, then sighed, set down his tools and pulled his gloves off. "None of these wounds caused her death, it had to be...

**I'm chained up, bleeding, so much pain. Who's that man?**

_**"Still alive I see," A dark haired, small framed man said as he came into her line of sight. He was wearing black slacks and a grey button downed shirt. He should have seemed harmless but menace seeped from every pore as he slunk closer to her. **_

_**"That all you got?" Tracy whispered, "I've been in bar fights that hurt worse than this." She coughed up some blood and tried to focus her eyes but it was getting harder and harder to concentrate between the blood loss and the pain. **_

_**"You still don't remember us?" **_

_**"Nope, sorry." **_

_**"You killed our entire family, hunter," he snarled as he drew nearer. She could smell the blood on his breath. **_

_**"Well, I should have done a better job," she retorted, "You're still here, fuck up on my part I guess." **_

**_The man pulled a knife from his belt, "Get ready Cici," the man said to a young woman who appeared behind him who's eyes glittered in the dark. The woman was in harem pants and a tank top, she was blonde, not that tall and her face lacked all hint of humanity. Her teeth were bared in excited expectation and it was rather obvious that she viewed Tracy the way a cat views a mouse. _**

**What is happening?**

_**She watched as Cici pulled her clothes off, dropped to all fours and started to pant. Dark fur spread across her skin, her body contorted as she screamed in ecstasy and then the woman was gone, only the monster remained. The monster she'd become didn't look like a wolf or dog. Her head was more feline than canine with slitted pupils inside of burning amber eyes. She lacked a tail but was in full possession of all four sets of retractable claws. The shredded skin on Tracy's body made a lot more sense now. The man put the tip of the blade against her chest, leaned into her and licked at the blood pouring down her arms. "You fell for it, stupid hunter. You always do. The one you called to help you, they'll be next." **_

**_She felt the blade pierce her chest.. "Sam...what did I do?" Was Tracy's last thought. _**

"Liv! Liv!" Ravi was standing over her. "Are you all right?"

She realized she was on the floor, "I..."

"Here let me help you," he took her hand, placed his other arm around her shoulders and helped her sit up. "You're pale, even for you. What did you see?"

"I wouldn't even know how to describe it..." she murmured, "It's a trap...for them." _My heart's racing, which now means it's about the same rate as a calm adult. What were they? Hunters? What? _The vision of what Cici had turned into was still racing through her head when Ravi took a step away from her.

"Um, Liv. Your eyes are, well, rather red."

"What?"

He handed her an empty stainless steel tray so she could see her reflection. "Oh no..not good." Her eyes were indeed red and bluish-black streaks had started to work their way across her face. She forced herself to calm down and the colors faded.

Ravi sat down on the stool, his researcher expression back on his face now that the immediate threat was gone, "What brought that on? Just tell me what you saw however you can. You only seem to "hulk out" as it were when you feel threatened from what we have seen so far."

She pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, trying to calm herself, "She, Tracy was chained up and the people that did this to her. They said she killed their family but they weren't human Ravi, the girl turned into this..this thing. It had fur, claws, a huge cat head and..." She felt the change start to come again and stopped talking.

Her description managed to ruffle the usually unflappable Ravi, his eyes grew a bit fearful. "I think this brain may be a bit more challenging for you."

"You think? I don't get it. I've seen people get shot, stabbed, dropped off of balconies but that never affected me like this."

"Tell me everything," Ravi instructed. He listened without a single interruption as she recounted what she'd seen, then tapped his fingers on the desk for a moment before he spoke. "Hmm. I wonder if it's because this other thing is not human, like you and in your mind you felt as if it was hunting you, not Tracy. Perhaps your subconscious doesn't see bullets or blades as real threats now but a supernatural creature is."

"She didn't even know what it was and I get the feeling she was an expert in this area," she pointed out as she managed to finally stand up. "I have to talk to our faux Fed agents." She started to gather up her purse.

Ravi went from analytical to concerned, "I'm not sure that is such a great idea. What if being around them triggers another vision? Perhaps you should just call them, not go see them. If they hunt supernatural creatures and you react as you just did, well..." He left it hanging but the look his face filled in the blank.

"I don't think they'll believe me over the phone, call it a hunch." As she started walking out of the room her hand went to the back of her waist, _It's missing. Wait, I don't carry a knife. She did. Yeah, this is going to get complicated. Why do I have the feeling that the skills I pick up from Tracy's brain are not going to be art related. _

**Meanwhile...**

"Pushed a little hard back there at the morgue, don't you think?" Dean asked as he pulled out of the morgue parking lot. "We've got no other leads to go on, last thing we need to do is get the MEs suspicious enough to talk to the locals."

Sam slammed his hand into the door, "That wasn't a werewolf kill and you know it!"

"And just what do you think punching my doors will do to help? Jesus Sam, calm the hell down. She's not the first one of our friends that died bloody and hard. We need to find where she was staying, focus on the job, not whatever's got you so pissed off." Dean was starting to have some suspicions on just what that was. "What was her pattern on finding places to stay? We've all got them."

"She stayed in classier places. Always on the second floor or higher, she liked having a view," Sam rattled off, "But other than that I don't really know. She worked alone usually so never needed a system for others to find her." He'd been wracking his brain to try to find someway to track her down. "I can't ping her phone since I don't know what service she's on."

"All right, we do it the old fashioned way. Go back to that storage place and see if we can find out how she got there. She didn't die there, not enough blood."

"Yeah I guess so. We're going to catch the thing that did this Dean and when we do I'm taking it out."

Dean glanced away from the road to look at Sam and almost missed a stoplight change. _Why the hell is he this pissed? I can't remember them ever being that close. He's taking this way too personal. _"All right Sammy, got it." As they pulled into the storage facility parking lot they noticed the cameras, "Let's hope they're not just for show."

"Would be good," Sam answered as he got out of the car.

The property manager was sitting behind the counter talking on the phone. She was a woman who looked to be in her early fifties with short cropped gray hair, rimless glasses and an exhausted look on her face. "Yes ma'am there was a body found here last night. No as far as we can tell no units were broken into. No I can't refund you for the month." She winced and pulled the phone away from her ear.

They could hear the voice from the other end of the phone quite clearly. "Then I'm calling my lawyer!" Followed by a dial tone.

The woman sighed and looked up at them.

"Rough night huh?" Dean asked with an understanding smile on his face, his badge already out.

"You have no idea. Social media, I tell you," She threw up her hands in disgust, "Two people tweet or facebook or whatever about the body and half my customers know about it by sunrise. FBI? Great, that's just great. That's all I need."

"We're sorry, Marge," Sam said, catching the name on her badge, "We just want to.."

"See the tapes right? Cops were here earlier. I made copies for our insurance people. Follow me." She stood up and led them to the back office. "Just press play. Let me know when you're done." She didn't even wait for them to say thanks, just turned and went back to the front.

"That was easy," Dean said with a shrug as he sat down at the desk and pressed play on the monitors. There were four views on the screen, the gate and one camera pointed down each lane. A black SUV pulled up to the gate, there was no license plate on the front and the windows were tinted enough so they couldn't make out any faces. A gloved hand reached out, typed in a code, pulled through the gate after it opened enough and went down the first aisle of units. After it went about a hundred feet it stopped, two people wearing hoodies and gloves got out, opened the back, picked up a tarp that obviously had something in it, dropped it on the asphalt, got back in the SUV and left.

"Damn it!" Sam snapped, "Can't get a good look at the plate."

"Wouldn't matter, probably stolen. They were too cold about it Sam. They're pros at this. Why here though? Why dump her somewhere she'd be found?"

"No idea. I gotta get on my laptop, maybe track the car through street cameras."

Dean leaned back in the chair and took a closer look at Sam, "Something's way off about this, monsters don't dump bodies in storage units. C'mon."

Sam bit back his reactions to seeing Tracy's body dumped like a sack of trash and started to think, "She said it had gotten complicated. Maybe someone or something started hunting her? Some sort of a trap? I don't know. Hey, they usually give people separate codes for gates at places like this let's ask."

They returned to the lobby, "Thanks Marge, that helped a lot," Sam said. "Any chance you give people individual gate codes?"

Marge shook her head, "You and the cops should really communicate better. I do, the code belongs to Mr. Hanna, who's about six inches taller and a hundred pounds heavier than either of the people that dumped that poor woman. So no, can't help you there."

Sam's heart dropped, "Okay, well thanks. If you think of anything else, here's my card."

Marge didn't even look at it, her eyes still on her computer screen as she scrolled to another client she had to call, "Yeah, fine."

They left without another word until they got back in the car,"Let's get back to the hotel and think this through before we go kicking up trouble, " Dean suggested, "You try to find where that car went, the MEs should have some information for us soon."

It took a few hours but Sam finally managed to hack into the city camera system and what he found made the whole situation even murkier. "They're pros all right, they parked the car on the side of the street about three miles away and just walked off."

"Yet another thing your standard monster doesn't do," Dean pointed out.

"I know, I..." Sam's phone rang. "Hello? Yes, this is Agent Liefson."

"Hello agent," Liv said, trying not to say it sarcastically, "This is Liv, from the morgue. We need to talk."

"What did you find out?" He looked at Dean and mouthed "The ME" so Dean would know who he was talking to.

She took a deep breath, "We should talk in person, preferably alone. Where are you staying?"

"Uh, the Blue Heron, room 102." Sam hadn't expected that.

"Fine, I'll be there in fifteen minutes." She hung up and hoped she wasn't about to make a fatal mistake. _Every time I get nervous about talking to them something from her brain comes through, she trusted them. I guess I just have to trust the feelings of a dead woman. _


	4. Things Best Remembered in Private Places

Liv pulled into the motel parking lot. _And yet another clue that these two are not actual Feds, no Fed drives that kind of car on the job._ It wasn't too hard to guess that the black classic car parked in front was theirs. There were only two other cars in the lot and they were on opposite ends of the building, nowhere near room 102. She got out of her Civic and hesitated, _Every time I think about how stupid this idea is I hear her voice saying to trust them. I get the feeling that I have to be as honest as possible. I won't tell them I'm a zombie but I know they'll buy the idea I am a psychic pretty quick. She worked with psychics. If she's comfortable with that concept they have to be too. I hope. Well, here goes nothing. _She'd barely knocked on the door before Sam opened it.

"Come on in. Heard you pull up," he said in response to the confused expression she must have had on her face.

"Oh, right." She walked past him and looked around the room which was simple, bleak and sparse with ugly brown walls, faded carpet and stained curtains. His partner was sitting at the table and Sam gestured for her to take the other chair as he sat on one of the beds.

_**Tracy was screaming again, but not in pain. Sam had her pinned to the wall, they were both sweating and naked. The single desk light they'd left on highlighted the hard curves of his shoulders and arms. She had her legs wrapped around him as he thrust into her. Her lips curled in feral ecstasy, she dropped her legs to the floor, shoved him back onto the bed which almost broke under the impact. **_

**_Sam's hands raked across her back as she rode him hard. Seconds before he reached his peak he lifted her off of him, roughly rolled her onto the bed and slid down her chest and belly, choosing to bring another flood of pleasure to her instead of being sated himself. He was the only man that could manhandle her like that, the only one she would ever let do it and she loved it. Being a hunter she could never allow herself to be vulnerable, and never did, except with him. He could throw her around like a doll and it always heightened her excitement when he did. He knew it too. _**

**Oh my God...**

**_"Damn it Sam!" She moaned as she lost control yet again. "Just let me get you once." _**

**_"Not yet Sexpot," he said, the feel of his breath sending shudders through her, "Night's still young."_**

**This is so not fair! How can I feel all of this but be undead? **

"Liv? Hey..you with us?" Sam's voice intruded into her brain

"Yeah Sam," she mumbled as the vision faded. She tried to catch her breath and not stare at him since she'd just had a full color, HD view of everything that was under the suit he was wearing.

Sam instantly went from slightly concerned to wary,"What?"

_Oh crap. How do I cover that up? Screw it. They need this information and damn them for fools if they freak out about how I get it. Wait..that's not me. Well, she certainly was blunt and strong too. It feels like she's talking to me, not just a faded echo like the others. "_Right, about that." She decided to just take the plunge. "Tracy died around two in the morning on Thursday. It wasn't a werewolf that killed her. It was a man and his sister who changed into the freakish, cat looking thing with black fur and no tail. I know because I'm kind of a psychic and I get visions." _And that was a hell of a lot more blunt than I was going for. Damn this brain! _"Sam, they trapped her, killed her for killing their family and I know your name because I saw her call you."

She had to give them credit, the rate they processed this turn of events was rather impressive.

"Well if you know his name you may as well know mine, I'm Dean." He reached his hand across the table to shake hers...

_**They were in a bar somewhere, "C'mon Tracy," Dean said, that devilishly innocent look on his face, green eyes twinkling and holding a large amount of promise for how the night could go, "You, me, empty room and some good beers? Sam's got homework to do, I got a few hours to kill." **_

**_Sam didn't even look up as he shook his head, then took another drink of his beer. "If by homework you mean research that you should be helping me with, sure. Go waste time getting laid. No offense Tracy." _**

**_If only Dean knew that her and Sam had already planned to hook up as soon as Dean passed out. She kept the grin off her face as she ran her hand through Dean's hair, "Sorry, I keep telling you Dean. The more times you ask the less interested I am. You make it too easy Winchester." _**

**_Dean shrugged and a forlorn look crossed his face, "You don't know what you're missing sweetheart." _**

**_She laughed, "Not a damn thing," she thought. "Sam keeps me plenty satisfied." She almost purred at the thought of what the later hours of the evening would bring. _**

**Okay Tracy's brain, these particular visions can stop now. Seriously. I mean they're hot and all but still. **

She recovered from that as they both watched her.

"Vision?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, but nothing important." She made the mistake of looking at him again and felt her face get hot. _That's not supposed to happen anymore either. Apparently really good sex can raise the dead somehow. _

Dean looked back and forth between her and Sam, a sly grin slowly broke out on his face, "Well, well. Guess that answers that question."

Sam looked confused for moment, looked at her, realized where he was sitting and narrowed his eyes at Dean. What he said was quite obviously not what he wanted to say at that moment, "Okay Liv, let's start over. Let's assume you've realized we're not FBI agents."

"Knew that the minute you flashed your badges, they're about three years outdated."

"They are?" Sam asked then shook his head. "Never mind. What have you seen about what happened with Tracy?"

She recounted the pertinent visions, "I also know she's a hunter and I guess you two are too. Whatever that means. By the way you guys are awfully willing to believe that I have these visions at all.

"We've worked with psychics before and how you act, that's pretty par for the course. As far as what hunters are, we hunt the things that killed her," Dean answered, his voice low, "And any other monster we come across."

The look he gave her chilled her even more than she usually was. _He doesn't know, he can't know. Right?_

"You're saying that this whole job was a trap for Tracy?" Sam asked.

"I guess, that's what it sounded like. He said she fell for it, that you always do. Whatever that means."

"She said she was tracking a wolf," Dean mused, "Maybe we look around for bodies without hearts in the area. That would have brought her here."

"There were two of those over the last three months," she informed them, "Not here in the city but on the outskirts. The bodies had been in the woods for a few days so the police thought maybe an animal took the hearts out. I didn't get to do the autopsy on those, a different morgue did, but I can get them for you if you want."

The two men looked at each other and she could almost see the words they weren't saying flying back and forth between them, _Whoever they are, they've been working together for a long time. _

"Having those reports would help a lot but not if it draws attention to you," Sam stated in a solemn voice. "These things aren't acting like normal monsters..."

"There are normal monsters?"

"Yes, and they usually aren't this professional about what they're doing." Dean answered as he pulled a beer from the fridge, tossed it to Sam then offered her one.

"Uh, no thanks. So, what? You think they'll track me down or something?"

"We'd like to make sure that's not an option," Dean stated as he opened his beer. "Tracy was an old hand at this. They took her out. We don't want to see anyone else get hurt. If you can get us those reports with minimal attention on you fine, if not we'll figure something else out."

Sam stood up and started pacing, "We need to know where she was staying, everything about this case would be there."

"The Red Robin Inn, Room 340," she answered almost before she was aware she was speaking at all. _Strong ass brain. I also usually don't think in cuss words. Thanks Tracy._

They both did a quick double take, looking at her then and each other. "What are you?" Dean asked, "Only a medium hardwired into her ghost would get detailed answers that fast."

"Uh, the visions I'm getting from her are just a lot stronger than usual. I get the feeling that she was a pretty kick ass woman."

Sam closed his eyes and looked away, "Yes, she was," his words soft and filled with a lot more pain than someone who was just having a physical relationship with someone should feel.

Dean pulled her attention away from Sam, "How long will it take you to get those reports?"

"Couple of hours. I can bring them here later."

"That works. We can check out her room while you do that."

"All right," she got up to leave then stopped. "Aren't you two being awfully trusting? I could be sending you into the trap for all you know."

"You had a vision within five minutes of us walking into that morgue," Dean replied, "We noticed you checked out but didn't really pay attention but you've done it twice since you've been here. I poked around a bit at the station while we were waiting for you to do the autopsy, you have an interesting reputation to say the least." He took another drink of his beer. "Chances are you're on the level, besides we have jack squat else to go on. Tracy knew how to cover her tracks, so our chances of finding her room on our own were pretty slim."

"Well, just so you know, I am on the level. I...what I saw." She shuddered and not with pleasure, "Those things need to be stopped."

"We'll take care of it."

The amount of steel and pent up violence that darkened Sam's voice left no doubt in her mind that he would. "Well. I guess I'll get those reports. See you later." She walked out, got back in her car and left.

Dean waited until Liv had pulled away before saying anything, "All right Sammy, give. What was going on between you and Tracy? The way Liv looked at you when she came back from that first vision she had here, I kind of felt like I should leave for a few hours and give you two some alone time."

Sam slouched down on the bed and refused to look at Dean, "It's not that important."

"Bullshit. You guys had something going on, you're way too upset not to have. I don't need a play by play man, just a rough outline here."

Sam finally dragged his head around to look at Dean but couldn't bring himself to say anything.

Dean sighed, "Dude, it's not like I don't know you've had sex. We're not twelve for God's sake."

"With Tracy it was different."

A small flush of red started to spread across Sam's face and Dean was torn, needle him about it or be understanding. _Oh man, if she wasn't dead the fun I could have here. "_Okay, well I never saw you two together, you never talked about her or gave any hint that there was a thing going on. Why?"

"At first it was because I knew you'd just give both of us crap about it since you hit on her every time you saw her. Remember a couple of years back in Oklahoma, first time you hit on her. She shot you down hard and you wondered off with a waitress."

"Yeah, vaguely," he cracked a small grin, "There's been a lot of waitresses."

"I know," Sam groaned, "I know. Anyway after you left she sat down and we started talking, one thing led to another and..." he stopped talking and looked at the floor, "When we got to her room she explained her rules. We have fun, be wild and crazy, when we're done we clean up and go our separate ways. If we like what happened we can try to hook up again later, if not, no harm no foul. No spending the night, no curling up and going to sleep. Sex and done."

"Sounds like my kind of girl," Dean said, "Not yours though."

"No, not usually but." He laid back on the bed and put his hands over his eyes, "It'd been so long, it wasn't just about the sex, I just wanted to feel my arms around someone again, connect. You know?"

Dean opened another beer, sighed and slid down in his chair, "Yeah I do."

"Well, it wasn't at all what I'd expected, she was something else. She reminded me a lot of, and don't freak out when I say this because it's not about what you think, a lot of Ruby. She was a hunter Dean, she knew how to take what she wanted and knew I needed to take too. She understood everything that goes on in our head. Ruby was the same way, it was so intense. I mean Jessica was great and I'll always love her but this..."

"No reservations, no fear, no hang ups..." Dean filled in the blanks for him.

"Yeah, exactly. When we were done I figured I try things your way, her way. My way had failed so horrifically so many times, I had to do something. So we took a shower, she drove me back home and I fell asleep. She'd left town the next morning, no good byes, nothing. I texted her when we stopped for food later that day and told her I wanted more, she did too. So we'd hook up after you passed out some night. She'd pull into town late, hang out in her room. I'd text her when you passed out, she'd pick me up so you wouldn't hear Baby starting up. I'd leave a note saying I went for food or whatever if case you woke up but I usually made it back before you did." He pulled his hands away from his face and looked at his brother. "The only way I could keep it as emotionally entanglement free as possible was to not tell you. I knew if I did you'd pester me about it, stir shit up. Try to make it something she didn't it want it to be."

"And you? What did you want?"

"I actually managed to be okay with it. You said we hadn't seen her in years, you're wrong. I saw her about three months ago. She was actually in Lebanon, you sleep a lot harder in the Bunker than we ever did on the road. She liked the place but was gone by morning."

Dean spit his beer back into the bottle and coughed, then his jaw dropped open and he just stared for a second or two, "You had sex, with Tracy, in the Bunker?"

_Never thought I'd manage to throw him that much of a curveball. _"Yup. There was a stunningly beautiful naked woman screaming my name down the hall from you and you didn't hear a thing." _Damn that felt good!_

"I..I..." Dean sputtered, "Really? In the Bunker?"

"I believe that's what I said."

Dean lifted his beer in a salute to him, "Well done Sam, nice. Still don't know why she turned me down all those times."

_And now for the icing on the cake, "_She liked tall guys," he answered with a rather beatific smile on his face.

The bottom of the beer bottle Dean was holding met rather violently with the table top, "I am tall!"

"Not tall enough apparently," Sam replied with shrug.

"No, you're just freakishly tall, I am not short."

"That's all a matter of perspective, isn't it."

"Shut up!"


	5. Memory Mash

She'd meant to go back to the morgue, she really had but she found herself picking up her phone and calling Ravi instead ten minutes after she'd left Sam and Dean.

"Yes?" He answered.

"Hi, those other mutilated bodies with no hearts at the other morgues? Can you get the reports sent to you and I'll pick them up later."

He knew her well enough by now, "Liv? What impulsive, brain driven thing are you doing now?"

"I don't know, I think I need to be there when they go into her room. They asked about it and I, of course, happened to know where she was staying. I can help them get answers." Even though she wasn't having a vision per se, her instincts seemed on high alert. She kept checking the rear and side view mirrors, tracking cars as they passed her, noticing patterns. _Okay, so she was paranoid too. I guess, this is what I always imagined that soldiers would feel like. Always on edge, never really feeling safe. How could you do this for your whole life? _

"Look, I'll be safe," she continued, "I'll be with them, I won't help them go find this thing. I promise." Yet as soon as the words left her mouth she felt wrong saying them, like she was quitting, giving up. She shook her head to try to clear Tracy's thoughts and get her own back.

"Uh huh, why don't I believe you?" Ravi replied with a sigh. "I'll get the reports. Don't do anything more reckless than usual please."

"I'll try." She hung up and changed directions, instead of heading to the morgue she headed away from it and farther into downtown. The sun was up, it was around eight in the morning and she was getting the most intense craving for hash browns, black, strong as hell coffee and a cheese omelet. _You must have worked out a lot to be able to eat that kind of food and still be in shape Tracy. _She felt oddly naked without the feel of a shoulder holster under her left arm and a knife strapped to her leg. _Well, that's par for the course for paranoia. Great. _

The rest of the drive to Tracy's old hotel was spent trying to sort through the ever increasing amount of Tracy that she was feeling. _She feels so pent up, like she just wants to take over and handle everything, not much of a team player I guess. How can someone be so afraid and so fearless at the same time? It's like the more she knew the less she wanted to know about these monsters she hunted. So much bitterness, mixed with a sense that she was doing the right thing somehow, no matter what she had to do. She loved and hated what she did, who she was. Sam and Dean said she was an old hand at this, had she been doing this since she was a kid? _That thought triggered a memory of a man that Liv guessed was Tracy's father and a woman she assumed was her mother showing Tracy how to clean guns and shoot. _That answered that question. Wow. What she knew, I can't imagine knowing that as a kid. _

She almost passed the hotel since she was so caught up in Tracy's thoughts but managed to make the turn at the last minute. The black car was parked in front of the lobby door, she figured Sam and Dean were faux FBI'ing their way into the room and her best plan was to wait. She parked a few spots down from their car, as she was turning the engine off Sam, Dean and a hotel employee emerged from the lobby doors and walked down the row of rooms. The employee unlocked a door, turned and left, leaving Sam and Dean alone. "Huh," she muttered as she got out of her car, "I guess most people have no clue what a real FBI badge looks like. No wonder Sam acted surprised when I told him their's were outdated." The curtains to the room were closed so she couldn't see what Sam and Dean were doing but a picture of the room was already in her head as was the location of what she knew they needed. She knocked but didn't bother to wait for them to tell her to come in, they both spun with their hands reaching for their guns as she walked in.

"It's over here," she said as she walked to the dresser next to the bed, pulled out the hollowed out fake Bible, opened it and pulled out a worn leather journal which she handed to Sam, "Oh and her notes about the case are taped to a board under the mattress." Sam and Dean stared at her but then Dean flipped the mattress up with a minimum of effort. There was a 3 ft by 3 ft, thin piece of plywood under the mattress with articles, pictures and random writings taped to it.

Sam pulled the board out, Dean dropped the mattress back down and gave her a no nonsense look that she was much more familiar with Tracy's habits than she should be. He wasn't buying the "just a psychic" story anymore. "What, you have a seance in you car?" He asked.

"I just knew."

"You never knew her before this?" Sam asked.

"No, maybe she's just a really strong spirit, violent death and all that." She pulled all that straight from Tracy's brain and it seemed to ease their suspicions a bit.

"True," Dean said with a shrug, "Hollowed out Bible, clever. I never thought of that. You go through the journal Sam, I'll look at this board. Liv, any other suspiciously accurate information to share?"

"No, not yet." She looked around the room, Tracy hadn't been attacked here. Everything was how it should be, beige covers on the bed with white sheets underneath. Tracy seemed to be the type that made her bed no matter where she was staying, a small pressboard wood table, chairs with off white cushions, a mediocre landscape photo of a beach scene on the wall, the TV, two faux cherrywood night stands, a lamp and a dresser next to the small closet. Nothing was disturbed or broken. There were two duffel bags on the floor next to the bed, she went to open them but the vision stopped her.

"**_Now I got you." She was looking at the board with the reports of the mutilated bodies and had her laptop sitting next to her on the bed. "Kind of glad I had Sam give me the basics of hacking into traffic cams. Makes it so much easier to track the monsters." Her gaze shifted off the board and onto a country house that wasn't in the best of shape. "Two werewolves, hmm. That will make things interesting, may need the rifle this time. Well, two more days till full moon. Get it done and move on." _**

**_She got up off the bed and headed into the bathroom to take a shower._**

"Guess you do now," Dean stated as he watched her come back to reality.

"I know that house..." she muttered, still half caught up in what she'd seen. Fortunately the address had been on Tracy's screen so she pulled her phone out and typed it in. The first image that came up made her drop her phone and jump back, her heart started pounding.

"Hey, you all right?" Sam asked while reaching a hand out to her.

She pulled away from his hand, "That's where she was killed," _Stay calm, stay calm, don't hulk out! "_That room, first picture."

Dean picked up the phone, took a look and handed it to Sam. "You sure?"

"Damn straight."

Dean nodded, "All right then, I'll go scope it out, Sam you stay here and try to figure out what killed her and how we can kill it. Course at the rate Liv has visions you might just have to hang out here for another half an hour, she'll tell you everything you need to know, we can do the job and go home."

Sam nodded, Dean gave her one more look and started to walk out. "Um, no honey," _What did I just say? _

Dean stopped and spun around looking somewhat shocked she'd called him honey. "No? Really? Why's that."

"They're waiting for you and you think the most brilliant thing to do is walk right into it? See, that's why I never went for you," she paused, "She never went for you I mean." _Worst brain ever! _She wasn't sure if Dean was more offended or confused. "Look, these things, she thought they were werewolves at first but they aren't which means whatever you think will kill them probably won't." Another thought came to her, "The guy said that Tracy had killed his family but I got the feeling it was a long time ago. Maybe she has something in that journal about it."

"Tracy's family were all hunters," Sam mused, "If they kept a journal anywhere as thorough as Dad's there probably is something about it in there, and Liv here seems to be having no problem communicating or whatever she's doing with Tracy, couldn't hurt to be cautious. If the monsters want us as bad as it seems they'll wait."

Dean frowned, "Yeah, you're probably right. Give Liv the journal, let her look at it."

She was almost as shocked as Sam was, "Why?" Sam asked.

"She's obviously seen the things. If we look through nothing will stand out but she'll know exactly what it is the moment she sees it."

_He's smarter than she gave him credit for. Well, she did spend all her time with Sam and Dean seems to be the kind that prefers to not show off, unless it's those eyes or that smile to get a girl in bed with him. I doubt he gets turned down that often. I gotta give her credit for will power that's for sure. She was pretty too though, maybe she just got hit on so much that the fact that Sam didn't seem interested intrigued her more. I wouldn't turn either of them down, that's for sure._

"Good point," Sam stated as he handed her the journal. "Just be careful with it."

"Of course." _I don't want to look at this, I can feel the memories already. Damn it! _In an effort to take a moment longer before she opened the journal she looked up at Sam and met his hazel eyes briefly.

**_They were laying together in a small room with concrete walls that were lined with shelves that had books, boxes and a few other odds and ends neatly_** **_organized on them. There was a desk to one side that nothing was on but she saw a stack of files behind it on a shelf. She was curled up next to Sam in bed._**

**_"So you guys have a home base now?" She asked while rubbing her leg along Sam's under the sheets. "Warded, sealed and tucked away in a bomb shelter. Perfect place for a hunter's get away." _**

**_He chuckled and nipped lightly at her ear, "Yeah, you should have seen Dean's face when he finally got his own room and had a chance to decorate, albeit his decorations are all guns and knives but still." _**

**_"And yours are books and files, not surprising really." She propped herself up on her arm and stared down into Sam's face. He took a long look at her, his eyes went from playful and seductive to serious. _**

**_"What's with the long look? Thinking about changing your rules?" _**

**_"I, no, just enjoying the view before I'm staring at asphalt and hotel walls again." _**

**No you weren't Tracy, you wanted to stay. **

_**"Uh huh. If you say so," He wasn't buying it but didn't push, just pulled her back down and used his lips and tongue to convey the rest of his thoughts, which were quite far from the realm of books. Her thoughts were quickly chased away as he made it very clear, in record time, what he wanted and she had no problem giving it to him. **_

"I really need to get details on these visions you have Liv," Dean's said sounding snarky and slightly lewd at the same time.

"No, you don't," She snapped at the exact same time Sam did.

Dean looked from her to Sam then back to her, "Yeah, yeah I really think I do."

She felt she owed Sam some sort of an apology, "I, I can't control what I see."

He shook his head, glared at Dean but gentled his eyes when he looked back at her, "It's fine. Read, figure out what did this. Don't worry about what you see, I've been through worse than a stranger seeing what you're apparently seeing. Let's just get the thing that killed her, okay?"

"Yup, we're Hell's Animal Control after all." _Uh-oh, did it again._

Sam almost dropped the book as he handed it to her, "How? Never mind."

"Sorry, I'll stop talking now." She took the journal, laid it on the table, sat down and started flipping through the pages.


	6. Pages Turned, Lesson Learned

She knew from the first page that what she learned from this brain and this book would forever change how she looked at the world. The journal had been split up into sections, colored tabs showing the separation between them and they were labeled in neat writing at the top; "Curses, Monsters, Spells, Wardings, Exorcisms, Demons." _Demons? Really? They're real too? How do Sam and Dean sleep at night knowing that? _She decided to skip right to monsters and hope that nothing else Tracy knew seeped through somehow. _Just flip fast, hopefully it just pops out at you. _There were small rough sketches of the monsters or drawings copied from books paper clipped to the pages, none of which looked like what she'd seen until she got to the second to the last page of the section. Her breath caught and she stopped flipping pages.

"That it?" Dean asked.

"Yes, it's a Hariamu jadian, at least that looks like it," she replied and slid the book across the table to him.

Sam walked around the table and looked over Dean's shoulder, "A what? They're Malaysian?"

"They didn't look foreign," she stated, "but maybe they are half Malaysian or something. I don't know." _Well at least my heart didn't try to jump out of my chest, going hulk mode here would not be good. _

_"_Looks like Tracy recopied her journals every few years," Dean mused, "She talks about how her and her parents killed these guys when she was twelve, these pages aren't nearly worn enough for to be that old."

"She was a bit of a neat freak," Sam stated as he pulled the journal closer to him to take a closer look, "They only came across these guys once, and damn, the things we're going to have to find to kill them won't be easy to find. Iron blades dipped in a pretty intense concoction of components. Myrtle root? Hyacinth extract? Blood of a very specific toad? Crap."

"Seattle has a lot of New age type shops," she offered.

Dean shook his head, "Some of that stuff we can find in one of those shops the rest we need a more serious place. Damn it, would have been nice to know ahead of time. We have some of this in the Bunker."

"Yeah I know. I'll start calling around, see if any other hunters know shops out here," Sam said with a sigh. "This helps a lot Liv, you saved us a ton of time..." He didn't exactly tell her she should take off but she got the hint.

"Good, well I hope you can do whatever it is you have to now. I guess I should get back to work. I'll bring those other reports by just in case something's in them." She started to stand then had one last thought as to how she could help. "Do you guys have any blank paper? I can sketch you what they looked like when they weren't fur covered."

"Uh, yeah, sure." Sam pulled out a notebook from his bags, handed it to her along with a pen.

The sketch took her about fifteen minutes, it was rough but could enough that they would get the idea. "Here," she said as she handed it to Sam. "That's them, roughly."

Sam handed the drawing to Dean while trying to keep his face blank. Dean wasn't so worried about showing what he was thinking, he looked at the picture, his eyes grew wide and looked back at her. "Rough? What are you? A police sketch artist in your spare time. This looks like a portrait."

"No, just something I picked up." _Well that's one way to put it. "_I'll head out now."

She picked up her purse, and was somewhat surprised when Sam followed her to her car, his eyes shifting all around the parking lot looking for some sort of hidden danger.

"Do you live alone?" He asked as he held her car door open.

"No."

"Good, I know there's no logical reason these things should know about you but, well just take extra care until we get rid of them." He didn't even bother to try to hide the concern in his eyes or on his face. "Don't be alone, put my number on speed dial and stay inside as much as possible. They know she called someone, let's not take any more risks than we have to."

"All right. You two be careful, please."

He gave her a lopsided smile, "We always are. Call before you head over with those reports, we may be out running errands."

"I will."

He nodded, she stepped around him, got in her car, he shut the door, gave her one last nod and walked off. _Ok Liv, you've done everything you can, let them handle it. If you get face to face with that thing they may just take you out too, there was a page about zombies. I guess I'm not as rare as I thought. _A shudder ran through her as she tried to forget the fact that the things that go bump in the night were real, _Okay, technically I am a thing that goes bump in the night but no one ever took zombie movies seriously. Zombies are like the butt of all the other monster's jokes grr, brains...Demons? Vampires? Things that take your shape? Stay home, stay safe and non hulked out. _

She fully intended to follow her own advice, even though Tracy's brain was telling her otherwise.

**As we return to our two hunters: **

Sam walked back into the room, saw the wary, questioning look on his brother's face and decided he'd need a beer for the upcoming conversation. "What?"

"She's something else, and I don't mean that in a complimentary way. Her skin tone? That ain't makeup, and her visions. No psychic we've ever worked with can pull things like that out of thin air without a crap ton of cold spots and creepy shit going on around them."

"I know, but damn, she saved us a ton of time." He sat down across from Dean, "I agree there's more to her than we know but I think she's on the level as far as wanting to help. You did say she'd been helping that Detective close cases."

"Yeah, just..." Dean shook his head.

"Yeah, I know. Well, first thing we should do is try to corroborate all of this. Check out that house, see if we can find these people."

Dean focused back on the task at hand, "I'll take the house, you try to find all this crap we need and see if we can ge a hit on the faces she gave us."

"All right but, and I know you won't listen but just this once, don't go into that house alone."

Dean gave him his cocky ass grin, "Of course not."

"Dean..."

"Don't worry Sammy, seriously," His face sobered, "I saw what they did to Tracy, there's two of them and we don't have anything that kills them yet. I'm just doing a drive by. I'm not in the mood for an ambush, even if I know it's coming."

_I think he actually means it this time, "_Sounds good."

They spent about an hour calling hunters and finding the more serious occult shops in the area, then they took another hour calling the shops and seeing what they had, it took awhile but they finally narrowed it down to two that between them they could get everything they needed. Once they did that, they changed out of the Fed threads into street clothes and Dean dropped Sam off at the closest shop that had most of what they needed.

"Be careful," Sam said as he got out of the car.

"Yeah, you too. They may be watching these shops so keep an eye out."

"Right," he shut the door and Dean drove off.

About forty five minutes later Dean slowed down and drove by the house, it was older, abandoned but no in complete ruins yet. It was an old tract home that seemed to sit on a large tract of land that was becoming overgrown with weed and shrubs. The front windows were boarded up and he could see where a vehicle had recently crushed a path through the weeds. As he drove past he looked in the rear mirror and saw a truck with a full size cab on the back parked around the back of the house. He continued on for another few blocks, pulled Baby off into a small dirt side road, parked her, grabbed his gun and a machete, tucked it into his jacket pocket and jogged back to the house.

_May as well see who's home. _He crept onto the property and ducked behind some shrubs to wait and see if anyone came out. An hour later he was about to give up and come back later when a dark haired, slender man emerged from the front of the house holding a phone to his ear and started pacing. _Well he doesn't look happy, good since that's the son of a bitch that killed Tracy. Liv's a damn good artist. _

"They found her journal? How do you know?"

_Shit, they must have been watching her room. Damn it. _

"Well they won't be able to get everything they need today," the man on the phone said while gazing towards the street Dean had driven down, "We just have to speed things up."

The wind shifted and the man froze. _Uh-oh, time to leave._ Dean was about ready to stand but the dark haired man turned his head and seemed to be seeing through the shrubs and looking straight at him.

A vicious snarl curled the man's lips, "Get back here now!" He shoved the phone in his pocket but didn't move off the porch. "I smell you hunter and I never lose a scent. Are you going to play hero and try to take me now or not?"

Dean stood up, "Back at you, except switch hero out for loser. I'm right here."

The man's hands curled into fists, "There's no rush, besides it will be much more fun when both of you are screaming in front of my sister and I. You're too stupid to leave town and I haven't had a good fight in a few years. Maybe you two will provide me more than five minutes of entertainment." He turned his back on Dean and casually walked back inside.

_Cocky bastard but he's right about one thing, we aren't leaving. _He didn't exactly turn his back on the house as he walked back to the Impala. Once he was far enough away from the house that he felt safe enough he pulled out his phone and called Sam.

"Hey," Sam answered.

"Had a fun little chat with monster guy #1. They know we're here and we have her journal. They were watching the room."

"Are you.."

"Fine, he's cocky. Pulled the ol' "you're not worth my time yet stupid hunter" monster line and walked back inside. He knows we don't have everything we need to kill them, pretty sure my machete would do the job just fine though."

"Dean..."

"I know, I know. Anyway, I'm heading back. You?"

"Tracked down pretty much everything and got some substitutions. The second store referred me to another place that had the tricky stuff. The girl still out here watching me?"

"Don't think so, he told her to get her ass back to the house. Why?"

"Let's grab all of Tracy's stuff, move it to our room and change hotels in the middle of the night to try to throw them off. I don't really want any late night visitors. This concoction we have to make is a bit tricky."

"Not a bad plan Sam" Then a thought ran through his head and his heart dropped, "They have to know about Liv. Damn it!"

Sam's voice was tight with worry when he replied, "Swing by the morgue, get her."

"On it." He hung up and started to run back to the car. _Well, guess we get to find out what she really is._


	7. Zombie meet Werecat Monster Thing

Liv walked down the stairs of the morgue and set her purse on the desk, "Well that was intense and I can't wait until this brain fades out. If it could take with it all the creepy things I read when it leaves that'd be just great."

Ravi stopped in the middle of splitting a chest open, "Things didn't go well with all things masculine and monstrous?"

The vision she had of Sam and Tracy filled her mind, yet again, "We'll go with confusing, disturbing and x-rated."

"X-rated?" Ravi said with a grin, "Do tell."

"No, it's bad enough that Sam seems to know I have seen him naked without. You know what? Never mind."

"Which one's Sam?"

"The taller one."

Ravi gave her a speculative look, "Not bad..."

"Ravi! Not helping!" She walked closer to the newest corpse, "What's his story?" She looked down at a young, Hispanic, teen aged boy. "Oh no." _If I was still studying to be a doctor I could have saved this kid, instead of autopsying him. _

"Stabbing," Ravi sighed, "Probably gang related. I put some of his brains in the fridge for you already."

"Thanks," _That just makes me feel worse. Not only could I not save him, now I get to eat him._

She heard a step behind her and Ravi looked past her to the stairs, "Hello? Can we help you?"

"You, not so much. That blonde emo bitch can help me by dying."

_Cici! What the hell? _Her usual first instinct would have been to run, instead she found herself grabbing a scalpel, holding it low in a guard position and spinning around to face the monster that had invaded her home.

"Uh Liv?" Ravi asked.

"Run," she replied in a voice much lower than her usual one. "What the hell did you say?" She snarled as adrenaline started coursing through her veins. Cici was dressed in a summer dress, sandals and her hair was loose and hung to the middle of her back. She didn't walk down the steps, nor did she stalk, she moved like there was no other possible alternative than for her to kill both of them. Casual, confident and reeking of impending violence.

"Not a good idea..." Ravi whispered.

She looked over her shoulder, he flinched back. "Damn it, you're hulking out. Stop now!"

"That whore ripped her to shreds, she's a damn monster and there's only one way this ends." She reached across the table and shoved him several feet back. "Now move!"

"That's the brain talking, not you."

_What am I doing? It's not just Tracy's brain, that's making it worse, I really want to rip Cici to shreds. I don't understand. Why the hell am I so territorial and defensive all of a sudden? Either way Ravi has to get out of here. "_It doesn't matter who's talking, you need to leave. Now!"

He backed away and she turned to face Cici again.

"Finished?" Cici asked, a haughty smirk on her face. "I do hate interrupting people."

"I'm sure you're the soul of manners, courtesy and aristocratic breeding," she taunted back as she slid a few steps closer to Cici. The kung-fu the Korean gang member brain had given her was meshing with Tracy's fighting skills and she took note of every twitch, every shift of weight that Cici made, even with all that she almost missed it when Cici lunged at her, it happened so fast. She barely managed to step out of the way, slice the scalpel along Cici's arm and shove her hard against the table. Cici hissed as the scalpel slid down her arm, rebounded off the table and threw an elbow into her face.

She ducked, crouched and shot her right leg out to try to sweep Cici off her feet but Cici jumped just in time. As soon as she landed Cici tried to bring both of her fists down on her head but she flung herself out of the way, rolled and stood back up.

Cici paused, cocked her head to the side and sniffed the air, "The scent of death, it's not just from these corpses. It's from you. What are you?"

"Just some emo bitch," she replied while launching a spinning back kick at Cici's face. Cici grabbed her leg just before it connected with her head and shoved hard sending Liv flying across the room. She crashed into the wall and felt the change take her over even more, _No, no, no!_

"You're not human." Cici whispered under her breath, then she bared her teeth and her black eyes glistened with excitement, "Finally, a challenge. He was so stupid, telling me you weren't important. I knew you were, I knew it!" She lifted her hands and her fingers lengthened, curling into claws while her incisors grew long enough to brush across her bottom lip. Then she tipped her head back at let out a sound that could only be described as a cross between a lion's roar and the howl of a vengeful ghost, her feet barely touched the ground as she covered the few feet between her and Liv.

Claws tore into Liv's skin but she felt minimal pain, what she did feel was an ever growing need to rip Cici's head off her neck, break it open and devour what was inside. Her arms wrapped around Cici's chest and she felt ribs starting to bend. Cici yowled and punched her loosening her grip just enough for her to wriggle out of her arms and bound away.

Liv stood up, looked to her left and saw one of the metal tables. Hunger drove her as she flipped the table over so she could wrench one of the legs off. She heard Ravi's muttered "Oh bloody hell," come from the far back of the morgue but she didn't care. She didn't even bother to rush Cici, just hurled the table leg at her. It flipped end over end and flew much faster than she'd thought possible. _How strong am I? _Cici hurtled across the room as the table leg nailed her in the chest, crashing into the other table and shoving it several feet along floor.

Cici laid there stunned for a a moment then started chuckling as fur raced up her arms and legs, "Oh my, this will be fun." She shifted into her another form, her dress ripping along the seams as her muscles shifted and grew.

The world was tinted red and she had to fight to form cohesive thoughts, "Your wardrobe budget must be ridiculous," she ripped off the other table leg and blocked Cici as she barreled into her, claws flashing towards her face. Cici's teeth connected with her shoulder and she felt the pull caused by Cici trying to rip her arm off and all coherent, human thought fled. Her hands flew to Cici's head and she started to twist it to one side.

"Liv!" She heard Sam scream as several shots were fired. Cici flinched as they hit her side, then she struck out at Liv's chest with her claws, dug in deep and wrenched a huge chunk of flesh and muscle.

That managed to cut through the zombie fog that had encased her brain and she screamed. Cici pulled back, darted between Sam and Dean and bolted out the door, trailing blood from the bullets that had plunged into her sides.

She saw Dean run back up the stairs, slam the door shut and heard the lock click. Sam ran up to her, "Holy shit! Liv are you...What the hell?" He stopped moving as soon as he got a look at her face and pointed his gun at her. "What are you?"

"Sam? What are you.." Dean froze a few steps behind Sam and raised his gun as well, "Oh."

"Liv?" Ravi's quiet, gentle voice came from the back of the room. "Gentlemen, might I suggest that aiming your guns at her will not help her calm down."

She heard herself panting and groaning, not in pain but in need. She was suddenly ravenous. _Calm down Liv, calm down! Do not eat Ravi or Sam or Dean, do not eat them... _

"Sam, and sorry she didn't tell me your name "Agent" but I can handle this if you will put your guns away," Ravi offered.

"Her eyes are red, black streaks all over her face, she's got a gaping chest wound that's barely bleeding and she's looking at you like you're food," Dean pointed out, "I'm keeping my gun right where it is, thanks."

Sam watched her for another moment before lowering his gun, "Dean, she's handling it. If she was going to attack she would have already. Let him help her."

Dean gave his brother a quizzical look, "You're seeing what I am right?"

Sam sighed, "Yes, just trust me." He took several steps back from her and pulled Dean along with him. "Go ahead Ravi."

Ravi nodded, his eyes grateful while his face showed his concern. "Hold on Liv, please."

"Hurry," she whispered as she wrapped her hands around her chest and felt just how little blood was leaking from the wound. _I should be bleeding out, be in shock, something. For God's sake I can put my finger all the way into the hole she left. All I am is hungry, don't eat them, don't. _

She heard the fridge door open and Ravi approached with a small tupperware container, set it down on the floor out of her arm's reach and slid it to her. "Here."

Her eyes fixated on the container, she snatched it up off the floor, ripped the lid off and shoved the chunk of brain into her mouth. _More, I need more. _The spongy texture and bits of fluid filled her mouth while she tore pieces off of it, blood seeped down her fingers and chin but she didn't care, all that mattered was somehow filling the pit of never ending hunger for someone, anyone's brain.

Sam's face paled a bit as he watched her eat, "Is that what I think it is?"

"If you're thinking it's brains, then yes," Ravi stated picked up a stool that had gotten knocked over, sat down and looked at the battlefield his morgue had become, "How on earth are we going to explain all of this?"

"Um buddy," Dean said, "I think that's the least of your worries. What the hell is she?"

"A zombie."

"What?" Sam and Dean asked at the exact same time.


	8. Zombie 1, Winchesters Confused

"She's a zombie," Ravi repeated while keeping an eye on Liv.

"How? A curse?" Dean asked.

Ravi gave them a rather disparaging look, "A new designer drug that apparently went awry."

"What? She got roofied into a zombie?"

"In the simplest terms, yes," Ravi replied.

Sam righted another stool and sat down, "How does that even happen?"

Ravi shrugged, "I'm working on that at the moment." He looked around the morgue again, "Well at least they didn't knock over any of the corpses. This is an utter mess. Feeling better are we?" He asked as she set down the now empty container.

"Um, yes." She looked down at her bloody hands then back at Sam and Dean. "So, are you going to kill me?"

"I should certainly hope not!" Ravi declared, "You saved my life and filled them in on everything about Tracy's death. Just because you had a bit of an issue there at the end..."

"Issue?" Dean interrupted. "Do you really understand what the hell she is? Do you even understand what you are Liv?"

"I thought I did, now I'm not so sure. I'm going to go clean up, don't shoot me when I move all right?"

Dean's look was hardly reassuring but Sam nodded. "Go, we'll sort this out when you get back. Ravi, we'll help straighten up while you do that."

"We will?"

"Yes Dean, we will." Sam's tone didn't really a lot of room for argument.

"Whatever," Dean put his gun away and looked around for a broom.

"Here," Ravi said as he handed him one. He turned to look at the totally upturned table that was missing two legs, "Well that table's completely useless now. Here Sam, help me get this one back in place."

"Exactly why are you so calm about this?" Sam asked as they heaved the table over.

"I've known Liv for months, I knew what she was the minute she applied here, that's why I hired her. She's usually quite calm and human."

"So you're okay with her being a zombie?" Dean asked.

A rather condescending look crossed Ravi's face. "Okay? She's validated a theory I got fired over. Of course mine was virus based but that doesn't really matter.." He trailed off as he realized they had no idea what he was talking about.

"He worked at the CDC," she explained as she rejoined them, "He thought a super virus would turn people into zombies, they fired him over it."

"Yes, and now here's proof that a human engineered product can turn people into zombies," he said with a somewhat triumphant gesture towards Liv, "All that and she's my friend as well, why let a little undeath get in the way."

Dean ran a hand over his face and Sam just shook his head. "Do you want to go first or should I?" Dean asked.

"Let's get the full story first plus we still have two other monsters to hunt that actually want to kill us," Sam replied, "Sorry Liv," he said when he saw her flinch at the word monster, "It's what you are like it or not."

"I know...now." She helped them clean up then they all sat down and stared at her. "No pressure or anything." She took a deep breath and recounted the boat trip, waking up in a body bag and how her life had radically changed since then. Sam and Dean were ominously silent when she finished, then they looked at each other and their faces grew even more grim. "What?"

"Have you gotten like this before?" Sam asked.

"Not this bad, I mean when a Korean gang member tried to kill me I started losing it, and I sort of lost it when I saved Ravi from the other zombie but not like this."

"Let me just see if I got this right," Dean said, "You eat brains and see what they saw and learn things, sort of like a zombie Matrix?"

"Yes, Tracy's brain, sorry Sam, seems to have affected me more than most and Cici whatever she is just makes me aggressive. Ravi's theory was that subconsciously I don't see guns and knives as a threat anymore but something like Cici.."

Sam nodded and looked at Dean who raised his eyebrows and shrugged. "Well Tracy's brain would be chock full of things that you'd feel threatened by," Dean said, "And hunters well, we're not exactly normal. It takes a certain kind of crazy to do this job."

"So neither of you have thought about how many of those people are now zombies and what they are doing to survive?" Sam asked.

"Well, we've only come across one that was totally inhuman," Ravi stated, "And Blaine asked us for brains but I guess that didn't work out."

"This is how blind to reality you would have been if you'd stayed in school Sam," Dean grumbled, "Liv, you eat brains, therefore all the other people on that boat that became zombies would have to as well. Where the hell do you think they are getting them from? Notice any spikes in missing persons reports lately? If not, go look."

"Major's kids," she whispered as the implications started sinking in. "Ravi do you think?"

Ravi seemed to be putting two and two together as well, "Oh Liv, I hope not."

"Your ex-fiance had kids?" Sam asked, she hadn't left out any details about what becoming a zombie had done for her social life.

"No, he works at a halfway house kind of place for troubled kids," she explained, "He's got two kids now that haven't checked in and he seems pretty sure that they haven't just wandered off somewhere."

"If I was a city dwelling zombie, homeless people and troubled kids is who I'd hit for lunch," Dean stated rather matter of factly. "No one cares about them."

_Well he's not wrong there, I've been brushing off his concerns even though I did tell Clive about them for him. An entire boat load of zombies. How are they all surviving? What happened to Blaine? What is he doing for brains? Oh no, I know enough about him to know it's not good._

"Well this makes things more and less complicated," Sam stated then gave her a quizzical look, "You really don't feel that hole in your chest do you? You may want to patch that up before going outside."

She looked down at the missing chunk and saw that bits of bone were showing, "Ravi? Can you?"

"Of course," he looked around and realized they didn't have an empty table. "Well, it's not like you have to worry about infections. Here." He grab a spare lab coat, spread it on the floor then grab a roll of suture and a needle, "Shall we?"

"Sure." She laid down on the lab coat and Ravi started to sew her back up.

"Okay, somehow that's just wrong," Dean said with a wince, "You're not even flinching."

"I don't feel it. What's more and less complicated?"

"Well, we don't really have to worry about the coming after you," Sam started out, "It's pretty obvious you can handle yourself. That's the less complicated part."

"Yeah, the more complicated part is Cici's brother is going to want to move even faster now once she gets back and shares this little tidbit and we need time to put together the thing that kills them," Dean finished. "Well that and this whole interesting zombie twist."

Ravi kept sewing while she talked, "Did you get everything we need to kill them?"

"Yes and there's no we," Sam objected. "Dean and I will take care of this, you stay here and..."

"And what?" She interrupted, "Heal up? Look." She rolled over so they could see her wound. Ravi's stitches were close together and professional but that wasn't what drew their eyes.

"Is that your rib moving?" Dean asked.

"Yes, I think it broke when I landed after she threw me across the room. Once I get some more brain in me I'll be as good as new." Her skin was already starting to grow back together under the stitches.

"Liv, we are not taking you back out there, you're a risk to us, not just Cici and her brother," Sam pointed out.

"If you think for one damned second that I'm letting the animals that tortured and killed Tracy get away, you're mistaken."

Sam stood up and started walking towards the stairs, "And if you think for one damned second that we're taking you when your eyes are turning red just thinking about them you're the one that's mistaken. We've already got two monsters to deal with, we don't need a third. We know what we're doing, we'll handle it."

Dean got up, "We'll be back to talk about the hordes of zombies that ya'll seemed happy to ignore after we kill those two. In the meantime, you two might want to relocate to some place other than here. Cici and her brother may decide to pay you another visit, no reason to make it easy for them to find you." He took a few steps to follow Sam, stopped, pulled a gun from his waistband, walked back over to Ravi and handed it to him. "You can borrow my backup for now. She hulks out again and goes for you, bullet to the head will put her down."

Ravi refused to take the gun, "I'll be fine, she's fine and she's not to be talked about like some rabid animal."

Dean shrugged and tucked it back under his coat, "Your funeral. Hopefully you'll still have all your brain when we get back."

They didn't say anything back as he walked out and caught up to Sam at the car. "How'd you get here so fast? I broke just about every traffic law trying to get here."

"Cab," Sam answered as Dean unlocked his door and walked around the front of the car. "The last shop was only about ten miles from here. Cab drove by just as I walked out the door, lucky I guess." He slid into the car and looked at Dean, _Well it took a little longer than I expected, here we go. _"May as well say it, you're about ready to explode."

Dean's face switched from businesslike to giddy in half a second, "Dude! An actual zombie apocalypse! It's what we trained for, c'mon! I mean, I'm sorry about Tracy, I really am, but seriously! Real zombies! Hell yeah! Now this is an apocalypse I can get behind."

Sam shook his head and exhaled, "As opposed to the other kind of apocalypses, which are what? Less fun? Less end of the world-esque?'

"More hellfire, brimstone, then there's the dick angels or obnoxious demons along with killing your brother to save the world." He favored Sam with a sour look as he started the car, "You know, our usual style of apocalypse. You seriously aren't the least bit excited here? I mean, how many zombie movies did we watch growing up? C'mon, Dawn of the Dean, Zombieland, Evil Dead, Return of the Living Dead? Classics man, and here we are, actually hunting zombies! I mean after we kill the other things of course. We used to play zombie vs hunter all the time as kids."

"Yeah, and I was always the zombie, except that one time."

Dean glared at him, "Yeah and I had bruises for a week. How twisted do you have to be to soak Nerf bullets in water and freeze them anyway?"

"Got my point across though."

"Bitch."

"Jerk." They both smiled but Sam's faded first. "You know it's not as cut and dried as it is in the movies. Look at Liv."

Dean's smile faded as well, "Yeah, yeah but I can dream can't I?"

"Sure. Why not?"

"She said there were at least fifty people on the boat," Dean mused, "If they can spread it like they do in the movies how many do you think there are now?"

"And how many people have they killed?"

"Damn..."

Sam looked out the window and wondered how many of the people he saw on the street were not human anymore. _And I thought finding Tracy's killer was the worst of my problems. How the hell do we stop a zombie apocalypse? _


	9. Mixing and Matching

The brothers headed to Tracy's room first and gathered up everything she'd left behind and transferred it to their room. They'd searched the entire room top to bottom to make sure the didn't miss anything since most hunters stashed weapons and research in odd places where ever they stayed.

Sam placed the last of Tracy's three bags on the floor by his bed and it finally hit him. "I don't even know if she had a house somewhere, friends, maybe some family left that would want her things. Damn it. What do we do with her things? We spent a lot of time together and I really don't know anything about her. Liv probably has a better idea who she really was than I do."

"I hate to say it Sam but that's part of the life, you know that. More than likely this is all she owned. Cici and her brother probably dumped her car somewhere. This is it," he said with a gesture at the pile of Tracy's things. "I know that's not making you feel better but..." The sorrow on Sam's face stopped him, _I don't know how he does it, still manages to get attached even when he tries not to. He should know better. What am I saying? He does, but that's just not who he is. Wouldn't want him any other way though. "_Look, Liv may be able to see things through Tracy's eyes but don't think that because she didn't tell you where she lived you didn't know her," He poured them both a glass of bourbon they'd bought on the way back to the room. "All the hunters we've known, how many of them had homes? Bobby? Who else?"

Sam took the glass Dean offered him, "None really, a few had RVs but that's about it."

"We only have one because we lucked out with the Bunker. It's not like we make steady enough incomes to rent an apartment or own a home. Bobby only had his because he had it before he hunted. That's not what's really bothering you anyway. We got here as fast as we could. You know that. This wasn't your fault. She got in over her head, it happens."

"I don't understand how, she wasn't new at this."

Dean fished the laptop out of Sam's bag and slid it across the table. "We knew she thought it was a wolf, let's find out what led her here. Liv and Ravi may be a bit too preoccupied to remember to bring us those autopsies. Pretend your Tracy looking for a job. Look at the board of articles and obits, piece it together." Another idea hit him and he started to dig through Tracy's bags. "Yup, hunter or not, I figured she might have one. Here, this may help." He placed a black, leather bound book on the table next to Sam's right arm, "If you really want to know what she was thinking. She probably wrote it down in here. Figured she might have a different journal than her hunter one."

Sam hesitated, it felt wrong prying into Tracy's private thoughts and a selfish, somewhat insecure part of him didn't want to see anything about other lovers she may have had over the years.

Dean sat down across from him and an oddly understanding smirk crossed his face, "Just look at the last few pages if you're feeling weird about this. Those should deal mostly with what was going on here."

"You know what, I'll search the net and look at what she put together, you look through this," Sam said as he slid the book across the table.

"Sam.."

"No Dean, I just..."

Dean reached out, took the book and nodded, "All right, you do your nerd thing, I got this."

Sam breathed a huge sigh of relief, "Thanks. We can try to piece this all together till about 11, then find a new hotel and start making that concoction at midnight as per the directions."

"Once, just once, I'd love to have a potion spell thing that needs to be done at noon," Dean grumbled as he opened Tracy's journal.

"Now that wouldn't be nearly as mysterious or witchy would it?"

"Whatever," Dean mumbled as he took another drink of beer.

**Back at what's left of the Morgue**

"That arrogant son of bitch!" She snarled after they closed the door behind them, "I won't let them take this hunt!"

Ravi pulled the last of the stitches tight, "Liv! Listen to yourself! What is the deal with this brain? Now settle down, let your wounds finish healing, eat and we can figure this out rationally."

"It's not just Tracy Ravi, it's those things," she said in between forcing herself to calm down, "I don't know, they trigger something in me, some sort of territorial thing. The moment Cici walked in all I wanted to do was kill her and get her out of my space."

"Well she did try to kill you."

Ravi pulled back from her, sewing done and sat crossed legged on the floor. She pushed her bloodied, tattered shirt back down and looked around the morgue wondering if she'd been attacked in her house how much worse things could have been. "But that's just it, she hadn't even done anything and I already wanted to rip her head off. I felt more like something protecting it's home turf than anything else. Tracy's memories stacked on top of that didn't really help things either."

"I would think not. You need to stay here, stay away from Cici and her brother, stay sane. Let them handle it," Ravi said as he stood and walked to the fridge. "Do you want a different brain? Maybe that will help negate Tracy's influence on you."

_Do I really know what I am? He had a point. I don't really know what a zombie is. Do I? _"No, I need to see this through."

"Why?"

"Because Dean was right, I don't know what I am." She looked down at her hands that had been so recently covered in blood, "I've been trying to just be normal, be alive and ignoring reality." Her right hand took a hold of his, "I am not human anymore. Feel how cold my skin is? You know how low my body temp is now, my resting pulse rate is barely above dead, I don't bleed, go into shock when I have what should be a sucking chest wound, I can barely taste. I just ripped bolted stainless steel legs off an industrial grade medical table. What am I? What can I do?" She pulled her hand out of his and stood up, "I can't go on pretending I'm just a really pale person that has some unusual dietary requirements, because I'm not..a person that is. Technically speaking I am a monster."

"No, I'm not accepting that," Ravi disagreed, "This is something that can be fixed, it's a temporary condition, not a permanent life change. Science turned you into this, it can turn you back."

"That other zombie I met, the hot one, he wasn't on the boat. He was at a party and got scratched, then woke up like this. What if someone or some...thing, just used the drug as a delivery system and the drug has nothing to do with it all? Zombies were in her journal, I'm not some weird new hybrid species." _This thing, this is what I am. This thing that if given half a chance would rip his head off and eat his brain. He doesn't really see it yet. I didn't either, until now. Maybe I should let..._"I'm going to go home, clean up. Sorry about the table"

"I prefer a table missing legs over me missing a few limbs. I don't think you should be alone though." He started pulling his coat off, "Besides we have to figure out some sort of explanation for this mess that the powers that be will accept and you should probably eat more, you still look a bit peckish."

_I may be a monster but those things, they're actively trying to kill people. I have to do something.. _She looked down and her eyes fell on the cover of one of Ravi's cheat code books for the games he played. Three wolf like creatures snarled up at her from the table...

_**"They hunt in packs." A tall African American man was talking to her father. He was sitting on a couch along with a smaller Asian man, "You can't go alone, even two people aren't enough. **_

_**The room they were in had dark, wood paneled walls, a fireplace and a huge coffee table topped with a slab of petrified wood. The flickering flames from the fireplace made the varied colors of the table somehow richer in the darkened room. She caught a glance of herself in the mirror that hung on the wall. **_

**She's a teenager, this must be when her family killed Cici's. **

_**"Jonas is right," The Asian man said, his words accented, "My people take entire villages out to hunt them. You need many people, not two or three. We are sorry to have brought them here." **_

_**"Not your fault Min," her mother replied. "Anyone, even monsters, can buy plane tickets these days." **_

"Liv?"

"I have to go, they need help."

"Liv! This is not.."

She stalked up to him, stopping inches away from his face, "They hunt in packs, they think like wolves. Sam and Dean won't expect that. Neither did she." She felt her face twist into a snarl as Ravi took a step back. "They won't last three minutes. Werewolves are loners, these things aren't. I need to help them and I need more of her brain."


	10. It's All in the Details

There was a rather intense shooting pain going up the side of Sam's neck as she finally unhunched himself and stretched after an hour or two of looking through the net and Tracy's board of notes, "They look like usual werewolf kills. They did a damn good job mimicking it. Full moon, two or three months in a row, hearts ripped out. If this was a trap for Tracy it was a damn good one. You've been way too quiet over there Dean." Sam had noticed that Dean had been switching back and forth from Tracy's hunting journal and her own personal diary, brow furrowed in concentration while the rest of his face looked increasingly less thrilled about what he was finding out.

"These things we're up against, damn, they're going to be tricky. I think Tracy didn't pick up on them because she wasn't in on the hunt, she was too young. She talks about it though. They took ten hunters out with them them, seven made it back and they were all beat to hell. It was this hunt that took her Mom out of hunting completely, she lost her forearm, her Dad had a broken leg, three shattered ribs and a concussion and the others were just as bad. I pieced that together over several of her entries," Dean shook his head and looked out the window, a million thoughts running through his head, "These things scared her to death, even without ever having seen them in real life. I'm guessing she didn't realize they weren't werewolves until she saw their furry forms and it was too late by then."

Sam closed his laptop, "Ten? What the hell? How many monsters did the hunters take out?"

"Four. I'm not sure if they thought that was all there were or if they figured they should get out while they still could, that's not the best part."

"Great," Sam replied as he grabbed another glass of bourbon then stretched out on one of the beds.

"They hunt in packs, this guy Min who seemed to be the expert made mention that the ones you see aren't the ones you have to worry about. How sure are we that there's only Cici and her brother left?"

"They're the only ones she seemed to have picked up on..."

"So we have no actual clue do we?" Dean asked as he filled his glass back up, set the bottle back on the table and placed his feet on the end of the other bed as he leaned back in the chair.

"No."

"Sam, we need backup or some sort of plan here."

"Yeah," Sam looked at his phone it was a little after eight at night, "We need to decide if we're doing this tonight or not. If not, maybe we should find more defensible ground, just in case they come looking."

"Or be on the move. I hate to pull out before we take care of these assholes but.." Dean said as he looked back down at the journals, "killing them is tricky has to be a heart shot, anything else barely slows them down it seems and Cici moved fast."

There was a knock at the door, they pulled their guns and Dean nodded for Sam to get the door while he ducked behind the closet wall. Sam looked through the peephole, "It's Liv."

Dean arched an eyebrow and frowned, "Doesn't know when to stand down does she."

Sam shrugged, tucked his gun in his waistband and opened the door, "I thought we made it.."

She shoved past him and walked right up to Dean, "You need me, they hunt in packs and..."

"We know," Dean interrupted, "She mentioned that in her journals. They don't go down easy, took out three hunters and nearly killed a bunch more. So what was it you were going to say?"

That drew her up short, robbing her of some of her pre-planned speech, "I can help, I have to help."

"Why?" Sam asked, "I think you have bigger concerns."

"Because you were right Dean, I don't know what I am, what it truly means."

Dean slowly exhaled and closed his eyes for a brief moment, when he opened them they were as hard as rocks and there was no give in his voice. "Any other hunt I might entertain the thought of helping a not completely brain dead zombie try to find her inner self or whatever, not this one. You barely held on facing one of them, two or more? Hell no! The only reason you don't have a hole between your eyes already is you've been helping us. You lose it out there, I wouldn't give it a second thought. We've got people we can call, people that will stay people when the monsters attack, not become one themselves."

"They know me now, know Ravi," She took a different tack, appealing to his desire to save people that Tracy's brain had clued her in on, "We won't be safe until their dead and you need something other than other...humans...to help you." It was hard separating herself from the rest of humanity but it was the truth and she had to face it. "You don't understand guys, I felt what Tracy felt right before they killed her. How much pain she was in, I know exactly what they did to her, how scared she was, I know what her last thoughts were." Sam's face paled and Dean's eyes softened. "When the brain leaves my system, those thoughts stay with me. Her feelings fade but the memories don't. These things, they give me a purpose. When I woke up in that body bag, I didn't know what to do, how to live. When I got the visions and realized I could help, turn this.." she waved her hands up and down along her body, "into something useful, well.. I was studying to be a doctor, harm none, help others. The harm none thing is rather at odds with what I need to survive now, but I can still help others. Help Tracy get some peace. I know you believe in ghosts Sam, do you think she's truly at rest? Do you think if you or Dean died she'd feel any better?"

"We're sorry you had to feel all that," Sam's tone was comforting but she could see that he still wasn't too keen on her coming along, "But it's too great a risk for us and you. What if you go on this hunt and lose what's left of your humanity? We've seen it before with monsters that tried to stay human, walk in both worlds. And we've..." his voice caught, then he cleared his throat and continued, "We've had to take steps. Liv, you already help people, helping solve murders. Stay here, don't push your luck, please. We'll make sure Tracy's soul gets to rest, I promise."

She didn't reply.

"You're dead set on doing this aren't you?" Dean asked, "Pun intended. If we don't say yes you're just going to track us and get involved anyway."

She crossed her arms and stood up slightly straighter, "I have been known to be stubborn."

"Great. Shooting you in the leg won't slow you down that much either I'm guessing."

"A few hours ago half my chest was missing. What do you think? I am pretty sure I won't come after you if something happen, I..." _Telling Sam I've eaten the rest of Tracy's brain is probably not the best thing to say right now. _

Dean saved her, "You're full, I get the idea. Do you know a place we can hole up that's out away from people? Heavy ass doors would be preferable. It being locked or otherwise owned isn't a big issue."

"Are you seriously suggesting that she comes with us?" Sam asked.

"She's going to one way or another, that's fairly obvious. Rather have her in on the plan then not. A smaller place would be better, sometimes cramped quarters work better."

Tracy's brain provided her with some additional ideas of what was needed and she realized she knew the perfect place. "Yes, it's an old stone cabin at an abandoned saw mill. The mill is in shambles but the cabin, at least the last time I saw it, was still pretty safe. It's not brick, it's made out of actual stone and the door was pretty thick wood with braced with metal. It's three rooms I think, about as big as a medium sized two bedroom apartment."

"Sounds perfect," Dean stated, "How about you give us a few minutes to pack and we'll meet you at your car, you can show us where this place is."

_That's not suspicious, now he's okay with me? _"Uh, okay. I'm parked next to your car. "_Well at least they'll know they can't skip out on me. _She grabbed her keys from her purse and walked out.

"Explain." Sam requested once the door had shut.

"We can't knock her out and tie her to a chair, that should be fairly obvious, she didn't even faint when Cici nailed her and the more I think about these things the more I wonder if they were setting a trap just for Tracy or for hunters in general. Sure, they got her in the end but remember a few months ago, when we were talking to Trent and Mac. They said that Shawn and Devin had disappeared after a wolf hunt but so did the wolf? Before that, Sarah and Colin vanished too. I mean hunters die but it's the same pattern, they went on werewolf hunts, the hunters were never seen again and the wolf kills just stopped. I think these two have been hunting hunters ever since Tracy's family took out their's."

"So? That just means we should be more careful, not take a zombie in with us."

"Actually it doesn't, think about it," Dean's eyebrows went up, challenging Sam to think it through.

"You think they're over confident, but they know about Liv now."

"Do they? Sure Cici took a chunk out of her but does Cici know how fast Liv recovers? Or that zombies have a nice little knack for finding anything alive within a mile or so radius when they are in zombie mode? She'll hear them coming long before we do. Liv probably doesn't even know that."

"We have to get her in zombie mode first," Sam pointed out, "Then hope to hell she doesn't try to eat us."

"She won't."

"You seem awfully confident."

Dean grabbed his shaving kit out of the bathroom and took a long look at his brother, "Who do you think she ate before she came over? She feels what Tracy does, remember?"

Sam stopped folding his shirt, the thought of Liv eating Tracy's brains making his stomach churn, "You're betting our lives on that? Why?"

Dean didn't say anything at first but his eyes shifted to Tracy's diary, then back to Sam. "Call it a hunch."


	11. Plans, Schemes and Jaunts

They walked outside and saw Liv standing next to her car. There were no other cars in the lot so they figured no one was watching them, yet.

Dean took charge, "Liv come here for a second," He opened the back door of the Impala, motioned for her to get in he closed her door, then he and Sam sat slid into the driver's and passenger's seat shut their doors. "Just in case they're in the shadows listening, didn't feel like being overheard. We need to drive to an apartment complex that has underground parking. Once we get there we'll grab some things from the trunk and pile into your car then take the long way to a hardware store. Baby's too recognizable and easy to follow."

"Underground parking so we can tell if we're being followed?" She asked.

"Yup and one that has multiple exits would be best. If it's an apartment complex there's a fair chance that they'll think you live there and hang out for awhile to see if we leave. Standard protocol when someone you're tailing goes into a parking complex you wait outside of it because you don't want to be spotted. It should buy us some time. "

"Okay, why a hardware store?"

Dean gave her a sly wink, "You'll see. Let's roll."

"All right." She got out of the Impala, got back in her car and drove off.

The brothers pulled in behind Liv's white Civic once they hit the main road. "Good thing she doesn't have anything too crazy on her car, no stickers or things hanging from the rear view mirror. Harder to track," Sam said.

"That's why I decided to do it this way. There's only one downside to Baby, she stands out like a sore thumb sometimes."

"I'll admit I didn't see this plan coming," Sam added, "What else did you find out about these things in her journals?"

"No other real details, but putting what I read together with how they've been acting, let's just go with they're hunters, like us. They're not just looking for dinner, they're looking for payback and they've studied how hunters act, just like we study lore. They're not scared of us, that should be fairly obvious."

"True, most monsters we deal with are."

"Yup, so we don't act like typical hunters. Turns the tables on them."

"Got it," Now that he and Dean were on the same page Sam understood the hardware store side trip. "Iron nails dipped in that crap that kills them, some 2 or 3 inch thick wood beams?"

"Now you're getting the idea."

"Perfect. Make 'em suffer."

They drove for about forty five minutes, making several turns, backtracking on their route once or twice and in general making things as difficult as possible for anyone who may be following them. Liv finally pulled into a parking structure that looked to be something she could afford, not too high class but not in the ghetto either. "Not sure if that's been her or Tracy's brain giving her clues on what to do but I almost lost her a few times," Dean confessed as they pulled into the spot next to her.

"Yeah, pretty impressive for an ME," Sam agreed.

They got out and walked to the trunk, she stayed in the car and kept the engine running. Once they gathered up what they needed and put all of it into the trunk of her car Sam opened the door and slid into the front seat, Dean slid into the back and she pulled out of the spot and headed to the exit on the complete opposite side of the way they'd come in.

"Nice driving," Dean complimented her.

"I'm beginning to understand how Tracy, and I assume you two, stay so far ahead of the cops," she replied. "Hunters take paranoia and hyper-awareness to whole new levels don't you?"

Dean chuckled, "Keeps us breathing. We weren't followed from what I could see."

"Yeah, same here. We'll hit a hardware store going in the opposite direction of where the cabin is. The road to the cabin is a two lane curvy one so that should make it easy to see if anyone has managed to keep track of us through all this."

"Sounds good," Sam stated.

"So," she stated somewhat hesitantly, "Now that I've had some time to process all of this, demons are real? Vampires? Magic is actually a thing? I mean I guess I shouldn't be all that shocked being a zombie but still."

"Tonight on conversations you never thought you'd have," Dean quipped.

Sam shot a disapproving look at Dean, "Yes. It's all real."

"Wow, okay. You know, until now I thought the scariest thing I'd learn about was the underground criminal element in the city and how they act. All of a sudden a Korean street gang seems rather prosaic."

"The more you know.." Sam started,

"The less you want to know," she finished. "Yeah. So do you want me to keep an eye out and the engine running while you guys get whatever it is you're getting?"

"Preferably," Sam answered, "It won't take us too long."

"All right."

They got to the hardware store, she parked and the brothers got out and went inside. _Stay calm, stay calm. _After she'd finished off Tracy's brain more and more memories of hunts, feelings and things about Sam and Dean had crowded out her own thoughts. So many in fact she was still trying to get a hold on them. _I can't get adrenaline rushes this early, I can't._ _How could she stand being this keyed up all the time? It's like she was never really not calm and it's seriously not helping me. I learned too much too fast. _The minutes ticked by, forever and twenty minutes later the brothers came back out with several bags, and Dean had several sections of wood slung over his shoulder. She popped the trunk, they put everything away and got back in the car.

"Okay, next stop, the cabin," Dean directed. "Hope you're ready for a long night."

"I don't sleep much anyway."

Their eyes met in the rear view mirror, "Yeah, guess not. You still with us? You're pretty keyed up."

"I'll be fine," she replied. As she pulled onto the freeway she looked to her right and noticed Sam looking torn, like he wanted to ask something but was afraid to. "Sam? Something on your mind? Talk or quit worrying."

His eyes widened, "You keep doing that, sounding like her. It throws me off."

"That's not what you wanted to say." _So much for compassion, hunters don't go in for much of that I guess. _

"Never mind," Sam tried to back away from the conversation, "I don't want to know."

"I'll save you some brain power, yes, it was Tracy I used to finish healing," Disgust filled his eyes as she watched then redirected her gaze out the windshield, "And you'd better brace yourself because her personality will probably emerge more and more over the next day or two. I usually don't eat that much at one sitting so this taking on who they are is more subtle. You can get sick about it later, right now we have things to kill. Got it lover?" _Too much! Damn it. __"_Sorry, I'm so sorry. I didn't..." She looked back at him and saw his face cycle from grief to hate in less than three seconds.

"Yeah, we do." He met her eyes, "Not mad at you." Then he looked out the window and lapsed back into silence.

Dean hadn't said anything during the exchange but she did notice the slightly concerned look he gave Sam. "Hey, her and I can set this up if you want to head back to Tracy's room and see if our friends show up there, or keep an eye on Ravi."

"No, in case they somehow managed to follow us you'll need me," Sam countered. "It's fine and I doubt that they care about Ravi."

"He's out of town anyway," she informed them, "He decided it would be a good time to go visit his brother in San Francisco for a few days. He told the office it was a family emergency, we hid what was left of the broken table. We can requisition a new one next month when budgets are reviewed again."

"Good plan," Sam said. "Glad he's safe, he seems like a good guy."

"One of the best."

The rest of the trip was spent in silence and repeatedly checking for cars in the mirrors. None of them seemed to be specifically following them but there was only one way to make sure. She got ready to turn right onto a smaller two lane road, "Here we go guys, heads up." They made the turn and she accelerated as quickly as was safe to, no cars turned with her. "Why doesn't that make me feel better?"

"Because in our line of work, you're never safe until you know what you're after is dead," Sam answered, "Things have a way of surprising you."

The road took them through what seemed like an older growth forest, trees loomed up in the darkness on either side of them as the it curved around. There were some small hills that when they crested the top of all three of them looked back, but no lights appeared behind them. After several miles she took a left down a gravel road and they could see the skeletal ruins of an old saw mill. She pulled past that, down the road, past a small pond and up to a small stone cabin. The cabin was crafted of actual rocks stacked on top of each other and held together by some old form of mortar. It was maybe seven or eight feet tall, squat and the roof was barely peaked. The door looked to be several inches thick and had cast iron straps across it that had started to rust over the years.

"How'd you know about this place? It's pretty remote." Dean asked as they got out.

"Major and I used to come out here when I needed a break from school. He had some friends who's parents used to work at the mill."

Dean nodded, "Makes sense."

"Here, let me help." She grabbed a few bags, they picked up the rest and walked to the front door. Sam turned the knob and shoved against the door, it resisted for a moment then slowly creaked open.

"No locks?" Sam asked, "Door's still pretty solid though."

"No one's lived out here for years, this was supposedly some old homesteader's place from who knows how long ago. It's just always been here."

"This will be perfect," Dean noted as he walked around after clicking his flashlight on, "Small windows, one door, the roof looks decent. Hopefully we can bottleneck these bastards and get them tripping over each other trying to get to us."

"Optimist," Sam muttered as he started unpacking.

There wasn't much inside the place, a few rotting chairs and an old wood table. The kitchen had the remnants of counters and an old cast iron stove along the wall.

As she watched they pulled a small arsenal out of their duffel bags. _I've never held a gun in my life and yet I know how to field strip these things, their calibers and models and exactly how to use them. Joy. _Then she saw the iron knives, _and I know that she liked to dual wield knives. Guess that will come in handy. _

"We picked up some extras," Sam said, "Just in case you picked up how she handled knives."

_He's trying to hide how uncomfortable this makes him, God this sucks. _"Thanks and it just sort of hit when I saw them." She picked one up, tested the weight and took a few practice swings, ""These will work. Thanks."

Sam just nodded in reply, then he and Dean took out a box of huge nails, two hammers and set the pieces of wood on the table, leaving the ends of the wood hanging off the edge.

"Spiked clubs?" She asked.

"Yup," Dean answered then took a quick look at his watch. "In about an hour we make that crap that will kill these things. The nails are iron, we're going to dip them in that stuff and use it as a way to slow them down enough to get a heart shot. We have iron buckshot for the shotguns we're going to do the same thing to."

"But the journal seemed to say that stuff only worked if you got it into their heart, that's what she remembers too."

"We've learned over the years that what kills things can act as a slow poison too," Sam stated as he started hammering nails through the wood so they stuck out the other side. "Not sure why Min didn't say that or we could just be way off base but if nothing else this will hurt them one way or another."

"They could also use all that against you," she pointed out, "Why take the risk and give them another weapon to use against you?"

"When you're up against something supernatural you try to do what you can to even the odds," Dean replied, "It's a calculated risk. These things are acting like hunters, not monsters. Like I told Sam, if they were just looking for dinner it would be one thing, but they're not. I think they've trapped other hunters the same way they trapped Tracy based on what you said and some things I know about. So we need to up the ante, switch things up a bit."

_**"It took so long to get to you bitch," Cici purred long bloody claws where her finger should be, "All the others were just to get your attention. We were starting to lose hope that you were still alive at all. Years, we've waited years." **_

_**She bit back a scream as Cici slowly peeled another piece of flesh off of her arm. **_

_**"We were scared at first, right Charles?" Cici said to the looming, huge, black furred creature that walked out of the shadows. It's teeth were bared and the low rumbling growl coming from it seemed to echo inside her bones. "Scared of hunters, so we started watching, learning, and we decided to hunt the hunter. Why should we be scared of you stupid humans. You're nothing without your guns and knives, nothing at all, except delicious."**_

The sound of hammers being pulled back on guns brought her back to reality.

"Liv!" Dean shouted.

She felt the blades in her hand and realized she was holding them in a guard stance. "Sorry..."

"What did you see?"

"That you're right, they aren't scared of hunters at all and Cici's brother's name is Charles. His other form is bigger than hers, with a shit ton of teeth. They've studied hunters, how they act, what they do for years."

"Figured as much but nice to have some confirmation," Dean said as he put his gun back down.

"I hope you don't have visions when they show up," Sam pointed out, "You'll be a sitting duck if you do."

"Yeah, I know. We'll just have to see."

Sam put his gun down and picked the hammer back up, "You must be getting a better handle on it though. Your eyes didn't go red."

"I just hope they do when I need them to," she said as she placed the knives back on the table.

"I have no doubts about that," Dean assured her, "If adrenaline is what kicks you into zombie mode, you'll have plenty of that running through you when this goes down."

"Really Captain Obvious? You don't say."


	12. Rude Awakenings

Once they finished making the spiked clubs they pounded nails into the outside of the door and looped several pieces of barbed wire around them in a criss cross pattern. They left enough space for a hand to get to the handle and push the door open but a furred, four legged creature pounding into the door would have a rather rude awakening.

"Are you hoping they shift back into human form at some point?" She asked as she gingerly held a piece of barbed wire for Sam.

"Makes it easier to find their hearts."

"Sam, it's time." Dean's voice came from the flashlight lit recesses of the cabin, "I'll start blending all that crap."

"Got it. Maybe if we're lucky just the touch of iron hurts them, like werewolves and silver."

"That'd be a nice break."

Her and Sam walked back inside. Dean was carefully pouring a bunch of small packets into an iron bowl. A variety of herbal scents mixed with the coppery smell of blood that her nose told her wasn't human filled the air. He then pulled out some other things that looked like small internal organs of some creature or another and placed them in a very specific order and location inside the bowl. The brothers slid knives along their forearms and squeezed some blood onto the pile of herbs. "We should just keep bags of our blood back home in the fridge," Dean muttered as he wrapped a cloth around the cut, "Then take them out on jobs with us. Be easier than hacking up our arms every time we do a damn spell."

"Not a bad idea actually," Sam replied as he poured some sort of pungent smelling liquid onto the herbs and they both chanted something over the bowl. As they chanted the herbs started slowly spiraling clockwise in the liquid, making a miniature whirlpool that had no obvious source. The liquid started shifting colors, from black, to purple, to orange and then flashing into a deep, rich red that sent a surge of hunger through her. Then it stopped moving and seemed to coagulate into an oatmealy thickness, bubbled a few times then settled down.

"Guess we did it right," Dean observed.

"Hope so. Liv, hand us some of those paint stirrers, don't touch this stuff with your bare hands. Some of those herbs are psychotropic and might send you on a bad trip."

"What? And you're putting them on nails and blades? How is that a good idea?"

"Well if we get hit with them at least we won't feel the claws," Dean answered with a shrug. "Also why we tend to wear a lot of layers. Less chance something nicks you."

"I remember the days when all I had to worry about was blood borne diseases," she said with a small sigh as she handed them the stirrers. They applied the concoction to the nails, blades and barbed wire, then Dean set his stirrer down.

"All right, this crap has a shelf life of about four hours, let's go piss some monsters off."

"Uh, what?" She asked.

"Oh yeah, part two of the plan. You get us back to our ride, we drive by the house they're holed up in, shoot a few flares into the house and lead them here."

_Tracy was never that bold, what the hell? _"Sam did you know about this?"

"I had a hunch that was where he was going with this. Seeing how shocked you look, I''m guessing Tracy never thought about being this crazy."

"No."

"Good," Sam replied with a tight grin, "That means we're not acting like usual hunters. You still up for this?"

There wasn't any fear in either of their faces. _This is what they do, what she did all her life. I can't leave them knowing what she knows, knowing what happened to her, as much as I want to. Guess for the next few hours she gets to run things. I hope I'm still alive, or undead versus actually dead at the end of it. "_Yes."

Dean didn't reply, just gestured for her to head out the door to her car, she picked up her purse and walked out. The drive back went much faster since she could take the shortest route, not the most confusing. "Am I still taking my car back out there?"

"Nope." Dean answered as they got into Baby, "Don't want them to be able to separate us when we're on the road."

Sam had fished some things out of the trunk then got into the passenger seat as she slid into the backseat. She leaned forward and saw he had a flare gun and several flares.

Dean turned the key and the engine roared. "Plus, your car would have a hard time keeping up. Haven't had a governor on this girl since I was eighteen and she's got a 350 in her."

"Oh."

_I have no idea how she said no to him. _The look he gave her as he looked over his shoulder to pull out of the spot almost melted her on the spot. For a brief moment the grin and twinkle in his eyes when he revved the engine one more time made him look years younger and like all the men she was never supposed to talk to. The love'em and leave'em type that you read about in hot romance novels. _He enjoys this way too much._

When he faced front again and she looked at his reflection in the rear view mirror that devil may care attitude had already faded, he was all business again. _Talk about complicated, all of them are._

_"_I pinned the location of that cabin on my phone," Sam said, "I'll tell it to avoid freeways to get us from where Cici and the rest are at to there."

"Good because getting a speeding ticket in the middle of this would just be damn annoying," Dean's tone was offhand an completely relaxed, totally at odds with the lines of tension on his jaw. "Hold on back there Liv, try not to go into zombie mode til we get there. I hate cleaning blood out of my upholstery."

"Especially if it's yours, right Winchester?" _I do love her smart ass side though. _

The tension turned to into disgruntled concern, "I really don't like it when I can't tell who's talking and if you're joking."

"Get used to it sugar."

"Great..." he cast a rather sour look at Sam who shrugged.

"This was your idea Dean, not mine."

"Thanks for the backup," Dean grumbled.

Thirty minutes later they were driving down a street in an older neighborhood where most of the houses were vacant. "Hope the neighbors are heavy sleepers," Dean said as he pulled into the driveway of the house that she'd seen the inside of in her visions.

_Stay calm, stay calm. _

There were two cars pulled up along side the house, "Only one car was here last time. Sam, time to knock."

Sam got out of the car, aimed the flare gun at the half broken window and fired. The flare hissed through the air, shattered the glass and they heard a mixture of human screams and animal like yelps. Sam loaded another flare and sent it after the first one, then Cici, her brother and another woman came pouring out front door, coughing.

"Morning assholes," Sam greeted them in casual tones, "You want us, try to keep up." He got back in the car, Dean threw Baby into reverse and dirt started shooting out from under her tires before Sam had even shut the door.

"So's there's at least three," Dean pointed out as he threw Baby into a hard right turn, "Lovely."

"Hope that's it." Sam said as he glanced over his shoulder, "Here they come. Two cars, three heads."

"And crappy cars. Guess I get to drive nicer than I thought. Don't want to lose them."

The back tires of Baby drifted than caught again as Dean expertly controlled the massive power coming from her engine but Liv's heart was already racing. Sam had one hand out on the dash, keeping him from slamming against the door, his phone in his other hand and he was calmly telling his brother where to do.

"Two miles down, left on Carter street, then brace for a hard right."

"Got it. Really guys?" She felt the car accelerate, "If you think you bastards are touching my bumper you got another thing coming."

"Huh, they haven't taken any shots at us," Sam noted, "Thought they'd have at least Tracy's stash of weapons."

She barely managed to keep herself from sliding hard against her seat belt as the car fishtailed left and jumped forward again as the tires found purchase.

"Other than that one shapeshifter and some human freaks, monsters never seem to think like that. Good for us huh?"

"Turn!" Sam ordered and her head slammed into the window.

"Ow!"

"Brace yourself better," Dean offered. "Now what."

"Four and a half miles then a left," Sam looked out the rear window again. "And the passenger in that front car has already shifted into furry form. Get some distance on them, it's sticking it's head out of the window. It may try to jump on us."

"Oh hell no! Fuck that! No way in hell they are clawing up Baby." The engine shifted into a deeper growl, she turned around and saw the gap between the two cars widen.

"Jump on my car now, dicks!" Dean snarled.

"Watch it, turn coming up..."

"I see it, hold on." Dean hit the brakes, spun the wheel and barely made the turn in time. She saw his eyes look up at her. "No red eyes yet, good."

"Too busy trying not to puke."

"Well keep focusing on that," Sam said, "Eight more miles Dean, right turn Cedar Creek Rd, four miles, left Apache Ln then we'll be on the road to the saw mill."

"Got it. Then the fun really starts. Liv, the road to the saw mill. If you feel sick now, it will be worse then. Aim your head out the window if you need to puke because we aren't stopping. Their cars will handle better then Baby on those curves, she's a helluva a lot heavier, so I'll be pushing it. Just wanted to let you know."

"Uggh," Was about all she could muster in reply.

"Hey, we might even catch air on some of those hills," Dean continued, a slightly insane smile on his face.

"No, just please no."

They made the next two turns and started down the road to the saw mill. _Don't puke, don't puke brains. How gross would that be? Well at least this better than be worried about hulking out._ Her stomach churned again as Dean barely made it around a hairpin turn. _Or not. _

"Dean!" Sam yelled just as they were shoved from behind Dean spun the wheel to adjust to the extra inertia.

"I know! Make them back off!"

"On it." Sam took his seatbelt off, pulled a gun out of the glove box, leaned out of the passenger window and started firing. The car swerved as the driver instinctively tried to avoid getting hit and a Dean gained some ground. "Driver's Charles."

"Aim at his damn head then. Hard to drive with blood in your eyes."

"Already planning to," Sam stated as he fired a few more shots. The car backed off.

"Road to the mill coming up, I remember this part, Sam back inside."

Sam faced front again, belted up and held on.

Dean turned hard without even touching the brakes, the car slid right and he barely pulled it back straight before they crashed into a stand of trees, she felt him somehow accelerate even more then mash the breaks about a hundred feet before the cabin door. They stopped feet from the house, all of them jumped out, Sam shoved the door open, Dean waited for her to get in, dashed in behind her then slammed the door. He and Sam heaved the heavy wood table in front of the door, loaded the iron buckshot they had sitting in the concoction into the shotguns tossed one to her. They shoved the blades into the pockets of their jackets, she shoved hers down the back of her pants. She aimed her shotgun at one of the windows, Sam took the other window and Dean aimed his at the door. Her stomach stopped churning as the rush of adrenaline hit.

"They just turned down the street to get here," Her hearing sharpened, "They stopped about a hundred feet out, I can hear them changing." Screams and the sounds of bones cracking and snapping as they reformed filled her ears. Then she heard them start to run, howls filling the air around them. "Here they come."

"Yeah we hear," Dean said.

There was a loud thud at the door instantly followed by a pain filled screech.

Sam cocked the shotgun and smirked, "Heh, guess that worked."


	13. Claws, Blades and the Undead

A rather complicated series of snarls, whines and growls came from the other side of the door. A large, fur covered head appeared in the window that she was watching. She cocked her shotgun but Dean interrupted her.

"Save your bullets for a clean shot."

"They're walking around the back," she informed them, the soft padding of paws coming to her ears even through the thick stone wall.

A minute later they heard a soft thump on the roof which creaked under the additional weight. She and Sam raised their guns and tried to track the sound of paws. That became rather easy once the scratching and tearing sounds of claws trying to break through wood and shingles started.

"Now what?" She asked.

There was another hiss growl from outside the front door and the hideous cracking sounds from the roof stopped. "Not sure," Dean answered.

Metal screeching cleared away the momentary silence, grinding noises and the shattering of glass filled the air. "No, no, no!" Dean yelled as he lunged to the window. "Not Baby! You fuckers!" He took hold of the table that barred the door before Sam managed to get there.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Sam got a hand on Dean's chest and started pushing him back. "We can fix her, we can't fix you if you lose a leg or a heart. Back up Dean!"

The grinding continued, Dean winced, balling his hands into fists, "Sam..."

"I know, I know...add it to the list of things we're going to beat the shit out of them for." The next thing they heard was a rather explosive pop followed by the hissing of air.

Dean spun away from Sam, bust out the window with the butt of his shotgun and fired into the darkness. "Don't you dare bend my rims!"

"Shit!" Sam shouted as a paw reached through the window and almost yanked Dean's gun from him. Dean pulled back in time and Sam unloaded a round into the paw. He was rewarded with another high pitched whine and the paw jerked back.

"They're testing us!" She yelled, stepping right up to Dean and getting into his face, "You idiot!" Her adrenaline was starting to kick in and she could tell by the look on Dean's face that her eyes were changing color. His interest in the car fell away from his face as he took a step or two back from her.

"Argue later!" Sam ordered and fired again, "One of them is small enough to fit through this window in furry form."

She turned around and saw a grey and black striped furred head and paws squeezing it's way through the window. She grabbed a blade from her pants, took three steps, ducked under Sam's arms and drove the point of the blade straight at it. It jerked back fast enough so the blade went through a paw, just missing it's head by an inch. The cat yowled, it's eyes wide with pain and fell back. Her zombie vision allowed her to see where all of the cats were, even though it was only half moon. "Try that again and an impaled paw will be the least of your concerns."

The one she'd just stabbed was hanging it's head down and panting, she recognized Cici's other form bent over and trying to cough something up next the Impala and Charles was staring at the cabin, crouched down and snarling. "So Charles? Two of your family are hurt, what's your next damn move?"

He jumped, clearing the ten or fifteen feet between her and where he had been in the blink of eye. A monstrous paw flew at her face which she barely ducked in time. The impact of Charles's body created a resounding thump on the wall but he didn't seem to notice as he hooked his claws into the wood frame of the window and pulled it towards him. It broke away and took a portion of the wall with it.

"This is undead one," he hissed, his words distorted as they came out of his feline mouth. "If one way is barred you make another."

She didn't remember consciously pulling her other blade, all she knew was both her arms were aiming at his head. He ducked, bunched his shoulders and leapt towards her. His front paws connected with her chest, sending her flying backwards, his back paws came up and raked down her chest, opening huge wounds that she barely felt, then he pushed off her, changing directions and jumped towards Dean. Her world went red.

Dean tried to backpedal to get out of the way of the two hundred or so pounds of black fur, claws and teeth that was coming his way while firing at Charles who barely winced at the impact of the bullets. Just before Charles landed on him Sam launched himself in a flying tackle, knocking Charles sideways and they crashed into the wall. Sam didn't waste any time rolling away from the finger length claws that he could feel tearing through his jacket and shirt.

"Sam!" Dean shouted as he ran forward to try to take advantage of the fact that Charles was laying on his side for a brief moment. He barely got two steps before Charles had righted himself and lunged forward again.

Dean dropped, threw his shotgun down, rolled towards the table and grabbed one of the spiked clubs that was hanging off the edge, "Screw this!" He yelled as he swung the club towards Charles. Charles apparently didn't notice that the club had nails in it at first because he started reaching his paw out to block it then jerked back and ducked but he didn't quite get out of Dean's way. Nails sank deep into Charles' right front shoulder, the sound he made when they did almost deafened them.

"Guys!" She shouted as Cici barreled through the hole in the wall in response to Charles' howl of pain. Cici came right towards her. "Fine bitch, it's on."

Cici danced right, reaching her left paw forward in a quick swipe. She jumped over the paw and lashed out with her left foot towards Cici's head. Cici pulled back, lunged forward, jumping over her head and trying to knock her down with her back paws. Liv barely ducked in time, spun around and got a face full of claws as Cici had rebounded off the wall behind her and was coming right back towards her. She threw herself to the side just as Cici's front claws connected and tore at her face, the hunger in her grew. _Screw knives. _She dropped the blades, grabbed Cici's back legs as they flew by and flung her into the wall. _Hungry, so hungry._

As soon as Charles stopped yowling in pain he took a wide, powerful swipe at Dean who let go of the club and tried to jump out of the way. He avoided the brunt of the swipe but the very tips of Charles' claws sliced through his shirts and laid open a series of cuts along his stomach. He doubled over, hit the ground, grabbed his already cocked shotgun and fired. He saw the pellets hit Charles' face but they didn't stop him from following up on his attack. Even though he was hindered by the nails and wood stuck into his shoulder the next swipe of Charles' left paw dug in deep into Dean's leg as he balled up to protect his chest and sent him sliding across the floor where he slammed headfirst into the wall and blacked out.

"Dean!" Sam screamed as he grabbed one of the other spiked clubs, Charles whirled around to face him, saw what he was armed with and backed away while using his teeth to try to pull the club out of his right shoulder. _Not fucking likely! _Sam swung his arm all the way back and used all his strength to bring the nails down on Charles' head. Charles juked left, the nails collided with the floor sending shock waves up Sam's arms and then he was falling backward. The force of Charles' attack helped pry the club out of the wood floor and Sam found himself desperately trying to shove the club into Charles' jaw in attempt to stop a fatal bite. Charles' teeth made quick work of the wood and he drove his teeth towards Sam's neck. Sam ducked his chin down protect his throat and threw a hard right into Charles' huge, fang filled, snarling face.

Cici collided with the wall, hit the ground with all floors and launched herself at Liv again. Instead of ducking out of the way again she opened her arms and let Cici barrel into her. She caught Cici, twisted and when they landed she shoved her knee deep into Cici's stomach, then wrenched her left leg out of joint. Cici screamed, the sound an odd mesh of human and feline, then her head whipped around, her fangs wrapped around Liv's arm crunching through the bone, rendering it useless, even for a zombie. _How annoying. _Liv reared back and headbutted Cici and wrapped her remaining good hand around Cici's throat, instantly crushing her windpipe causing her to struggle wildly for several seconds then going limp. She was about to rip Cici's head off her body when a smaller grey furred bony slammed into her, knocking her off Cici and into the leg of the table that was bracing the door. The last spiked club dropped next to her due to the impact, she reached across, grabbed it and swung, catching the grey monster with the blunt side and sending it hurtling towards Sam and Charles.

Sam's punch had minimal impact on Charles who rode it out with barely a flinch. In retaliation for Sam's punch Charles raked his right paw along Sam's arm, shredding through the three layers of shirt and jacket and ripping his forearm wide open. Sam screamed and Charles' teeth went for his throat again just as the grey furred monster that Liv had sent flying struck his side, he staggered sideways, losing his balance. Charles snarled at his sibling who quickly backed away but Sam had just enough time to grab one of his blades and shove it into the grey furred monster's side. He drove it in deep and twisted hoping to hit it's heart or some other major organ. It stiffened then toppled over.

Charles stared at the body then at Sam. "Your death, all of your deaths, will take days," he threatened in that oddly distorted voice. He hooked his left paw around the board in his right shoulder, wrenched it out and between one blink of an eye and the next was on top of Sam, claws fully extended and plunging down towards Sam's chest when a deep shudder ran through him and his eyes went out of focus. He shambled and weaved trying to maintain balance then blood started running from his mouth. Sam looked up and saw Liv, eyes red, black streaks fully engulfing her mutilated face, chunks of her chest missing, one arm mangled and useless, standing over him holding a bloody blade. She watched Charles collapse on his side and gasp for air then looked back at him.

"Liv?"

She merely grunted, and started shuffling towards him, hunger in her eyes and nothing of her usual intelligence on her face.

"Liv!" He scrambled back from her, stood up and used his good arm to pull his gun and aim it at her. "Don't make me do this. Please."

_Must eat, so hungry, so hungry. _

Sam kept backing away till he hit the wall where Dean was still knocked out cold. Her shambling grew faster and he pulled the hammer back on his gun, _I have to try to stop her, this is so wrong. _"Tracy? Sweetheart?

_Tracy?_ Memories battled through her hunger; Sam laughing, the two of them in the midst of a passionate embrace, his kisses, how it felt to be with him, the things she never told him. _Hungry...must...eat...Sam? Sam. Shit! Don't eat him!_ She forced herself to stop moving and look away, her eyes fell on Dean who was completely defenseless, surrounded by a pool of blood and the hunger came raging back. "Oh God, no." She staggered back away from them, "Have to get away from you both." Gripping the table with her one good arm she yanked it away from the door, wrenched it open and ran outside.


	14. The Line Between Life and Undeath

Sam's attention was pulled away from her exit by a hacking, wheezy, guttural coughing coming from the direction of Cici's body. She was still in furry form, her legs aimlessly jerking as she tried to breathe.

He stepped over Charles' corpse, grabbed a blade off the floor and drove it through her chest until he felt the tip of it hit the floor beneath her. Her body convulsed for a brief moment then went limp. "Definitely not happening!" He yanked the blade back out, eyed the other two monsters then methodically thrust the blade deep into their chests, just to be sure.

"Uggh," Dean moaned.

"Lie still," Sam ordered, crossing the bloody floor and crouching down next to his brother. "Let me get a look you." There were four gashes across Dean's stomach, two were deep, the other two were mostly superficial. Dean's leg was another story. "Shit," Sam muttered under his breath, he could see bone at the center of the deep puncture wounds and the amount of blood streaming from the wound made him wonder if Charles had clawed open an artery. He dug into his jacket pocket and pulled out one of the many bandannas they carried to use as bandages, wrapped it around Dean's upper thigh and pulled it as tight as he could. Dean's eyes were still closed but he was muttering barely decipherable words. "Hold on man," Sam muttered while pulling another bandanna from Dean's jacket and wrapping that around the wound itself. _I need to get him to a hospital, time to steal a car since Baby's probably trashed. _

He bolted out the door, saw the damage to the Impala and almost went back to beat the hell out of Charles' corpse. _Oh man, he's going to be so damn pissed. _Huge gashes stretched from her back bumper to the driver side door, the front bumper was resting on the ground, resembling a pretzel more than a bumper, the passenger front tire was completely flat and half chewed off the rim and the passenger front window was busted out. Forcing his eyes away from the ruined car he spotted Liv pacing back and forth between the Impala and the red Hyundai Tiburon Charles' had been driving that was parked next to an old white Nissan truck. Both vehicles had their headlights on and were still running. _Well that's convenient. I better make sure she's got things under control before getting too close though. _"Liv? Dean's in bad shape, I need one of those cars."

She turned at the sound of his voice, the black streaks on her face were gone but her eyes were still crimson colored. "I, uh..." He could see her struggling with her hunger but she backed out of his path to the cars. "The truck has a king cab, better to transport him," she said. "Pull it closer to the house. Can you carry him with that arm or should I help?"

"Should you?" He asked as he passed her and opened the truck door.

"I..I'm okay. Well as okay as a person with a shattered arm, broken nose, severe contusions on her face and what should be life threatening chest wounds can be," she replied, a weak grin on her face.

_If she's joking, she's not in zombie mode anymore. Damn, she's tough._ "Yeah I could use some help with him."

He pulled the truck up to the door of the cabin, hopped out, opened the back door of the the truck and they went back inside.

"We shouldn't even be moving him," she said.

"You want to explain the furry bodies to the EMTs or should I?"

She frowned, "I know we can't call 911 Sam, just making an observation. Hold on." She walked over to the table, flipped it over, wrapped her good arm around one of the legs and jerked. Wood groaned in protest then snapped, "We could use the top as a gurney to get him out to the car. It will help anyway."

Sam stared as she ripped the other three legs off and tossed them on the ground, "Guess you're not completely out of zombie mode."

"No, I'm not but I'm controlling it," Her eyes landed on Dean and Sam saw her flinch, "For now. You can still move both your arms, you take his head, I don't think I can lift his torso with the one arm I've got."

_That and I really don't want his head that close to her mouth, _"Got it."

They placed the tabletop next to Dean, slid him on top of it. Sam grabbed the corners nearest Dean's head and lifted, she wrapped her fingers under the middle of the table by Dean's feet, bent her legs, groaned and got her end off the floor. "Hurry, can't keep this up too long," she gasped.

The moved as fast as they could and got Dean out the door and set him on the ground. Sam gingerly lifted Dean's shoulders while she wrapped her arm around his legs and they placed him across the back seat. He closed the door and turned around. "Liv?" The streaks were starting up again.

"Go Sam. I'll take the other car and get back to the morgue, eat..."

Her face started to fade back into that mindless void that he associated with full on zombie mode. _"Can't let her drive like that. She'll go after anything that moves or crash somewhere and wander off. This will be an interesting trip._

"Get in. You're in no shape to drive. Is there a hospital near the morgue?"

Some of her usual alertness came back to her eyes, "Ye..yes but Dean..."

"He's been in worse shape, plus, he'd rip me to pieces if I let you go off like this. You're too close to snapping. Just don't eat us. Now get in."

She nodded, grabbed her purse out of the back seat of the Implala and shuffled to the passenger side. Once she got in she sat rather rigidly while staring out through the windshield. _Do not eat them, ignore the smell of blood, ignore Dean lying unconscious feet from you. I'll need to eat more than what we have at the morgue, I can feel it. Lowell. _She pulled her phone from her purse, scrolled through her texts, found the last one he sent and started typing.

"Need brains, will explain later. Meet me at the morgue as soon as you can. Try to find non violent deaths."

"Murders suddenly stop happening?" Was his reply.

"No, just, hurry."

"Liv?"

"Talk later. Please."

Her phone screen lit up showing that he was calling, she refused the call and typed. "Later, please help me."

"Of course. Be there soon."

"Who was that?" Sam asked.

"A friend, he'll bring me what I need." _No reason to tell him Lowell is a zombie too. Not that he isn't wondering that already. I can see it. He's not pushing. Nice of him. It couldn't have been easy for him to call me Tracy. _"Thank you."

He glanced briefly at her but then a hairpin turn popped up and he had to focus on driving. "For what?"

"Pulling me back from zombie mode, using her name. I know that had to be difficult."

His usually mobile face stiffened, "It was a stab in the dark really. Didn't know if it would work, but I didn't want to shoot without trying to stop you first." There was no hesitation in his words, if she hadn't responded she would have been lying on the floor next to Charles. She was rather surprised that thought didn't bother her.

_Well, I am a monster, he is a hunter. So was she. To them it would seem like the only option they could take. _"You didn't have to..."

"Yeah I did. You saved our lives, if it wasn't for your visions Dean and I probably would have gone after these things loaded for werewolves and been in a lot worse shape then we are. You haven't backed down from any of this even though you knew it would push you closer to full fledged zombie. You didn't have to do any of that but you did, I just returned the favor," he looked at her again, she could see the full reality of Tracy's death was starting to set in, "for Tracy and us."

She didn't really have a reply for that, so she nodded, turned her head away and stared out into the darkness. He accelerated as soon as they got off the curvy road to the mill, blew through as many stop signs and stoplights as he could and made it to the city limits in record time. Once they got back into the city she guided him back to the morgue, they pulled up and she opened the door, "Take a right at the third stoplight, then your first left. Can't miss the hospital."

"Thanks, I'll drop him off and come back to check on you."

_I don't want him to see how much I am going to have to eat, and definitely don't want him to see Lowell. _"I'll be fine. Stay with Dean." H_e's going to say no, I can already tell. Maybe I can have Lowell take me to his place. No bad idea, he'd just hunt us down. He won't leave until he knows I'm not out killing people. _"You won't ease off until you know I'm well fed, will you?"

He tried to hide the look of revulsion that crossed his face, "Let's say I won't ease off until you've healed."

"Ah zombie political correctness, got it. Fine. Go, I'll be here for a while."

He nodded, she closed the door and he drove off. Before she could start walking down the stairs to the morgue door two young women, walking together, holding hands and laughing turned the corner and started moving towards her. The hunger pounded against the confines of her mind, _EAT! They're not Sam! _It overtook her, she dropped her purse and began to run towards them. They didn't seem to see her at first then the black haired girl on the right spotted her. It was too dark for the girl to see her wounds yet but she could see the fear begin to blossom in the young woman's eyes. That only spiked her hunger, _FOOD! _She started to sprint just as two immensely strong arms wrapped around her from behind.

"Liv! Darling!" A heavily British accented voice pulled her tight, she growled, "Still training for that marathon?" He picked her up and turned her away from the women who'd slowed down, confused and slightly apprehensive. "Sorry ladies, she's a bit hyper-competitive and she lost to some blighter from her work who won't stop rubbing it in." He covered for her, "She gets all aggro when she's out running and listening to Linkin Park."

She looked up into Lowell's face and somehow managed to shove the hunger down. _Oh my God, I almost ate them. If he hadn't been here..._

"You ladies have a lovely evening." He smiled at them. The combination of his native charm, accent and handsome features had their usual affect. The women smiled a bit nervously, crossed the street and continued their walk on the other side of the road. Once they were out of earshot he looked down at her, "What in God's name are you doing?"

"Inside, we have to get inside."

"All right." He agreed but kept his arm locked around her shoulders.

She unlocked the door, walked down the stairs, turned on the light, wrenched herself out of his grasp and ran to the fridge. "Can't wait any longer...," she mumbled while ripping the lid off one of the tupperware containers and shoving half a brain into her mouth.

She heard him step closer and inhale sharply, "Bloody fuckin' hell!" He snapped, "Who or what did that to you? If they're not already dead I'll put them on the menu for tomorrow."

The brain was somehow making it worse, _What's...happening? _ She felt a deep growl rise from her throat as she finished the brain she had and started in an another one.

"Not good," Lowell said, "I hope I brought enough. Liv? You have to slow down..."

He reached his hand out and tried to take the brain from her, she hissed, and backed away from him. "Mine..."

"Right then. Not exactly the evening I had planned but oh well," He punched her, she flew back a few feet, dropped the brain and what little rational thought she had left fled. She stepped towards him and struck out with her good arm which he grabbed, twisted, pinned behind her and with a massive amount of strength, bent her over and slammed her head into the metal table top twice then held her there. "Stop! If you eat too much, too fast when you're like this you'll lose it even more. You're seriously injured and the hunger will destroy you if you give into it. It won't stop demanding brains even after you heal."

She struggled against him but his strength matched hers, although her injuries were driving her to feed they were also weakening her. He held her there and waited. "Calmer?" He asked. "Can you speak in more than one word sentences?"

The hunger didn't fade but the physical weakness seemed to allow her to think a bit more clearly, "I almost ate those girls."

"Five words, guilt, good." He eased up on her and she stood back up.

The magnitude of what she'd come with a hairs' breadth of doing sickened her. "Lowell, I..." She was too weak to sob or cry but that didn't stop the amount of sorrow and horror she felt.

"Lay down, I'll feed you." He picked her up and set her on top of the table he'd just shoved her head into. "Stay there," he ordered as he bent down and retrieved the chunk of brain she'd dropped then walked to the sink, tore it into smaller pieces and placed them on one of the stainless steel trays. Once he'd done that, he grabbed the tray and a chair, pulled the chair over by her, sat down and handed her a piece, "One at a time."

She took the piece and made sure to eat it slowly, "How do you know about this? About eating too much?"

"Now, now darling," he said with a brief smile, "You're the one ripped to shreds lying on a morgue table. You talk first." He handed her another piece and she started to tell him what life as a hunter was.


	15. Stitches and Regeneration

He handed her the last piece of brain from the tray as she finished summing up the last few days, then dug into the bag he'd brought and opened another small container, "Elderly woman, died peacefully in her sleep," he said as he handed her a small piece. "So, these men and the woman who you ate know about things like us and make it their personal mission to play judge, jury and executioner?"

She ate the piece he gave her and sat up, "That's enough for now, I'm feeling pretty full. It's not like it sounds. The things they hunt, they kill people."

He set the container aside, wiped his hands off on a paper towel and rested his chin on his hands as he leaned on the table, "So do people. You should be more than aware of that, you do work in a morgue after all." He'd managed to keep the blood off his blue button up shirt but there were a few drops on the grey slacks he was wearing.

"I know, I do but cops can't handle things like us or those werecat things. Charles ripped through a stone wall and ripped a car to shreds. It's not like he couldn't get out of jail."

"And how, exactly, do you know that they won't turn right back around when this Dean fellow heals up and kill you?" His face was calm and relaxed but she saw the suspicion in his eyes.

"I don't I guess, but after what happened, what I almost did, I'm starting to think maybe they should."

Lowell shook his head, stood up and paced away from her, "Liv, you've been like this for months, I've been a zombie even longer. Yes, we have to feed off of dead people but look at all the good you've done. Neither of us have killed anyone."

She turned around on the table and watched as he leaned against one of the pillars, "We aren't the only zombies out there and what if they are?" _I just know Blaine is up to no good, I just wish I knew where he was. I could hunt him down and...wait. Who am I to judge him? _

Lowell raised an eyebrow at her, "What if they are? Are you going to kill them? Be some zombie vigilante fighting against your own kind to save humanity? You are aware of how ridiculous that sounds."

"Any more ridiculous than a zombie solving murders by eating the victim's brains?" She countered.

He tilted his head and nodded, "Valid point." A quick grin flashed across his face and her hunger for brains changed into a hunger for something else entirely.

_This is definitely not the time for that! _The bones in her wounded arm shifted under skin and a deep shudder ran through her. She reached for another piece of brain while his grin faded into concern.

"That had to feel awkward," He noted with a gesture at her arm, "Heard that all the way over here. Your face is looking less bruised. A few more pounds of brain, some rest and you'll be as good as new."

"Yeah, I guess." _But will I be able to look at myself in the mirror knowing what I really am now. Knowing that deep down I am just some thing that wants to feed._

Her thoughts must have shown on her face because he sighed, moved so he was standing next to her again and lightly embraced her, "Liv, listen. We're no more a monster than a human is. The line between a monster and a human is very thin. Humans make that choice to not kill every day, whether they are consciously aware of it or not. Just because it's a bit more complicated with us doesn't make you a thing that needs to be destroyed," his accent grew more pronounced and his voice deepened in pitch, "And if these hunters think otherwise I'll have words a few words with them."

"I don't need you to protect me," she stated, "Although I do appreciate the sentiment. I'd rather they never knew you were a zombie if you don't mind."

The sound of the door opening interrupted them, "Liv?" Sam's voice echoed through the space, "You here?"

They both could hear the concern in his voice, Lowell's eyes narrowed but he didn't move towards the stairs. "Yes, I'm here Sam" she answered, "And coherent. My friend Lowell is with me. Come on down."

Lowell didn't take his arms from around her, _Not sure how to handle an overprotective zombie boyfriend. If I push him away will his eyes change? Too late now. _Sam had made it down the stairs, noticed their body language and she could see him trying to put two and two together. _Time to distract him. _Sam had changed into a shirt and jacket that weren't covered with blood although there were still some bloody spots on his jeans. "How's Dean? Did they stitch your arm up?

"Arm's fine, Dean's in surgery. It usually takes a few hours so I figured I would drop back by, make sure you were all right. Arm looks better, so does your face. You really don't feel the pain from all of those wounds?"

"Not really. It feels weird when things move though."

"I can imagine." He took his eyes off her and met Lowell's, she felt Lowell stiffen at the same time Sam's eyes widened. "Well that explains a few things."

She looked up at Lowell and saw his eyes had a faint tinge of red to them. "Calm down please. He didn't hurt me."

"Spray tan and hair dye?" Sam asked, "Surprised you don't do that Liv. It's clever. She's right, I'm not here to hurt her."

"Not yet, you mean," Lowell stated. "What about next week mate?"

Deep exhaustion and an aching regret filled Sam's eyes, "That's up to her. She drops people, we drop her. Same goes for you or any other monster we let go because they were on the good side of things when we cross paths with them. She's not the first monster trying to do good or stay away from killing we've come across. A few are still alive, most aren't. Some I cared about a lot more than I should have, but..."

"You speaking for Dean too?" Lowell pushed.

A hint of anger touched Sam's face then it faded, "Dean's my brother, we've gone down this road before. He knows how she helped us, he won't come after her."

Lowell's arms tightened around her, "You don't sound so certain about that."

"He won't." Sam's tone left little room for doubt. "Look, I gotta go clean up that mess, dump the truck and get back here before Dean wakes up."

"How are you going to fix the car?" She asked.

Sam ran a heavy hand through his hair, "There's a spare tire in the trunk, I'll change it, chuck the bumper in the back seat and put a plastic bag over the window. We have a garage back home where we can fix her up. As long as the frame's not bent it should be fine," A wry smile eased some of the exhaustion off his face. "She, like Dean, has been in much worse shape but he still got her back on the road. Lowell, as much as you may not like me, I'm glad you were here to help her out. Good luck. Hope I don't have to ever have to see either of you under different circumstances."

"You shouldn't be changing tires with that arm," she said, "You'll pull your stitches out."

"I won't, not the first time I've been stitched up, and if I do, I know how to fix them. Stay here, heal up. You've done more than enough, seriously. Thanks for the offer though." He gave her a small nod, turned and started to walk up the stairs.

_I can't let him leave like this, he has to know. _"Sam, wait."

He stopped, but didn't turn around.

"I, no she, has something to tell you." She looked up at Lowell who let her go. She slid off the table, grabbed a lab coat to cover the wounds still healing on her chest and joined Sam at the base of the stairs. "Let's go outside"

He nodded but didn't look at her. They walked up the stairs, and the night air greeted them once they stepped outside.

"Zombie love huh?" He asked.

"It's, well.."

A soft chuckle escaped him, "Complicated?"

"Yeah."

They stood there awkwardly for a moment. "Tracy's diary? Did you read it yet?"

He closed his eyes, "No, couldn't."

She lightly gripped his uninjured arm, "You should, the last time you were together? That place with the concrete walls. Your home I guess."

"Yeah?"

"Well, she was considering breaking the rules."

His eyes opened back up and she suddenly wished she hadn't said anything at all. _I think I just made things a million times more painful for him. "_I made it worse didn't I? Sorry..I thought.."

"No, you didn't. Dean hinted at it, said that he knew you wouldn't kill me or hurt him because of," he struggled to speak but couldn't seem to find the words.

"Yeah, they're fading now. Her feelings. I had to.."

"Don't tell me," he stopped her, "Really don't want to know."

"I understand. Please stay safe, even without her in my head, I don't want to see you guys get any more hurt."

She could tell he was trying to focus back on the things he had to do, "Liv, the other zombies out there. Dean and I, we can't let them go. You and Lowell are exceptions."

"Sam, stop. Tracy's feelings may be fading but her memories, her knowledge won't. Before Lowell got here, I almost..."

His eyes narrowed.

"But I didn't. He stopped me. Let me handle the zombie problem. I already know of one that's probably not feeding without killing. Look, after all of this I know what I am, how dangerous I could, or rather would be if I couldn't work at a a morgue. Lowell gets his brains from a funeral home. This is my problem, I should have been paying more attention instead of trying to pretend."

A sad grin pulled at his lips, "A few days with a hunter brain and you're already hooked huh?"

"Well, it's not a dull lifestyle, that's for sure."

"True. I'll tell Dean, we'll talk about it. If he and I do agree to this we have to work some things out."

"I understand. Really I do."

"Good, I got to take off. Call you later?"

"Please. I want to know that Dean's okay."

"Sure thing." He walked off and she went back down the stairs and opened the door.

Lowell wasn't more than two feet from the other side of the door when she opened it. "Eavesdropping?"

"I didn't just feed you all that brain to have you get beat up again," he replied, entirely nonplussed at her accusation.

She laughed, then another small wave of hunger swept through her.

"You sit back down, eat more," he ordered, "Then we'll discuss this whole zombie love being complicated thing."

"What?"

"Well, think about it. We won't age, you won't have all that crazy change of life thing and I'll always look this dashing. How much simpler could it be?"

"Point to you and you are rather dashing."

"Indeed," he replied as he bent down and gave her a light kiss. "Brains?"

"Yes please."


	16. Things That Were Left Unsaid

Sam finished dumping the gas on the furred bodies, dropped some lit matches on top of them, walked out and got into Baby's driver side. He'd already changed the tire, loaded the bumper up and covered the broken window all of which resulted in small amounts of blood to leak from his stitches, staining the sleeve of his shirt. "May as well fix those before getting back to the hospital." He was starving, physically and emotionally drained and not looking forward to the conversation he and Dean would have about Liv and the zombies. "He's not going to want to leave it to her, even though she's earned the right to have a chance at least. One thing at a time. It'll take some time for him to heal and fix Baby, maybe by then he'll see things differently." He shook his head as he backed away from the stone cabin, "Yeah, there's about as much of a chance of that happening as Crowley getting angel wings." It didn't take more than two miles for him to realize that Baby's alignment was off, _Good, more time needed to fix her and he's a perfectionist when it comes to how she drives. _

He made a quick stop at their hotel room, fixed his stitches, took a fast shower and went back to the hospital. "Is Dean Winchester out of surgery?" He asked the nurse at the information desk.

She pulled some information up on her screen, "Yes. You can go back, he's in recovery."

"Thanks." He went through the doors, asked another nurse where Dean was and made his way to the room. Dean was still unconscious and a tall, blonde, female doctor stopped him before he stepped into the room. Her hair was in a tight bun, her eyes were very blue and quite serious.

"Sam?"

"Yes."

"I'm Dr. Martin. I worked on your brother." She held out her hand, he shook it and leaned against the wall.

"How is he?"

"The leg should heal up in a few weeks, he did lose a lot of blood since whatever attacked you nicked an artery but we sewed that back up but he has a rather severe concussion. One of the wounds on his stomach was rather deep so we want to keep him for a few days to monitor against infections."

"I understand. Thank you."

"You said it was a pack of feral dogs that did this?" She asked, obviously not buying his story.

"Yeah, pitbulls and a Rottweiler. Last time we go hiking I guess."

"Uh huh. Well if you need anything let us know."

"I will, thanks." Her name came over the PA system and she walked off.

_I thought that was a better story than him falling through a window. He used last time we tangled with something that had claws. Guess doctors are more apt to believe a drunk guy was stupid than wild dogs. Was worth a shot._

"Sam?" Dean's voice came from behind him.

He turned, walked into the room and sat on the chair next to the bed. "Hey, you're going to be here for a few days. Stomach gash was pretty deep and you have a concussion."

"When don't I? Or you for that matter?" Dean muttered a bit woozily, "I'm surprised we remember our names some days."

"Wait, are you Sam or am I?"

"Don't know. Who's Sam? I have no idea who you're talking about." He worked on focusing his eyes. Sam could see his brain start working again and a faint look of horror worked it's way through the drugged induced fog, "Is Baby okay?"

"Alignment's off but she's drivable, Liv and I are fine too. Thanks for asking."

"Well it's obvious you're fine and Liv's a zombie. Why would I ask if she's okay?"

"Really? What do you remember?"

"Charles kicking my ass and that's about it," Dean grumbled.

"Liv killed Charles and put Cici down, her arm got almost totally destroyed in the process, her chest mangled and her face trashed. She was a step from losing it but held on and didn't eat us. She also helped get you in the truck I borrowed so I could get you here. My arm's all torn up so she had to help. We'd both be dead if it wasn't for her."

"She took out two of them?"

"Yeah, well sort of. I think she crushed Cici's windpipe and thought she was dead then stabbed Charles. She threw that smaller one into Charles right before he ripped my throat out. I stabbed the smaller one, then Charles got back on top of me and she stabbed him before he finished the job he started with my arm. She almost lost it, I got her back, she ran outside. That's when Cici started breathing again and I finished the job Liv started. If she'd been human, she'd be dead along with us."

Dean's eyes widened as he took everything in. "Okay, I stand corrected. How is she?"

"She's at the morgue, a friend of hers brought what she needed. She's under control."

"Someone other than Ravi knows what she is?"

_Was hoping he wouldn't be thinking that well yet, _"Yes. A guy she's seeing..."

"Is he a zombie too?"

Sam didn't answer, he knew how Dean would take it.

"How many of them are there?"

"Liv hinted that she knows at least one more that's not behaving. She wants to handle it. Not us."

Dean shook his head, "Sa.."

"No, she will not end up like Amy," he leaned closer to Dean's face, "She went way beyond what she had to do to help. You owe her. You going to go back on that debt and kill her? I told her we'd talk about it."

"This your idea of talking?" Dean challenged.

"Why not, it's usually yours. You talk, I'm supposed to do what you say."

"That's a bit harsh."

"Is it?"

Dean frowned, "Well, you may have a point. So you're saying let the zombie hunt zombies?"

"I'm saying she earned a chance to try. We keep an eye on her, build a file looking for zombies in the area, forward it to her and see what she does. If she doesn't handle it, we will. She knows if she snaps what will happen, I made that pretty clear to her and her friend."

"You willing to take that risk?"

"Why not? We did with Garth and Benny."

Dean looked away at the mention of Benny, "Yeah, all right. Not like I'll be doing much hunting for a month or two anyway between the stomach wounds and the hole in my leg. That should give us enough time to see what she's made of."

A rather large amount of tension left Sam, "Thanks."

"Sure. She kept us both breathing, least I can do," Dean took a closer look at his brother, "Go get some sleep, you're about to fall over. I'm fine."

"Okay, I'll be back to check on you in the morning."

"Sure. Bring good coffee."

"And pie?" Sam offered.

A huge grin split Dean's face, "Breakfast of champions."

"I'm only doing it because you're broken."

"Hey, whatever it takes to get pie man, you know my motto."

"Yeah," he chuckled. "Night Dean."

"Night."

He left, drove back to their room, walked inside, pulled off his jacket and his eyes landed on Tracy's diary. It was still where they'd left it, on the far side of the table. Liv's words came back to him along with Dean's. _He was right, whatever Tracy was feeling kept us alive. I don't need to know, don't want to know. I don't think I can handle another ending like this. _He turned his back on the table, took his shirt off, changed into sweats, turned the lights off and laid down. _Just sleep. _He closed his eyes and forced his muscles to relax while he took some deeper breaths. Just as he started to drift towards sleep the temperature in the room dropped several degrees and he heard a slight scuffling noise coming from the table. _What the? _He clicked on the light next to the bed, which flickered once or twice before settling down. _No, she can't be here. We killed them, she should be resting. _The scuffling sound started again then stopped abruptly, he sat up and stared at the table. _It's moved. Fuck! _"Tracy?"

Nothing happened, but the room was still cold. He waited, eyes glued to her diary, this time he saw it move ever so slightly closer to him. "Oh no, no. Why are you here? We killed them. Please don't be here, not vengeful, please..."

There was a flicker of something by the table, too fast for his eyes to truly see but he didn't doubt the reality of it for a second. "Wait..." he remembered a trick they'd used years ago, grabbed his cell phone and set it to record video. "Haven't done this since that haunted film set. Let's see if it still works." He pointed the camera at the table and sure enough, she was standing there, her hand on her diary and her forehead creased as she concentrated on moving it. _Thank God she's in one piece and not mutilated. I wouldn't be able to handle that. _She was wearing the last thing he'd seen her in, a tight fitting, deep red shirt, black jeans and bare feet. Her waist length auburn hair was up in a pony tail, the shirt hugged her broad shoulders and clung to her hips. She stood just an inch shorter than Dean and there was no doubt that she was a fighter. Her arms were well muscled, and her jeans stretched tight over her calves and quads along with accenting his favorite physical feature of hers, her ass.

'"Tracy? Can you hear me? I see you."

She looked up from the book and noticed the camera in his hands. She nodded, pointed at him then at her diary. Her lips slowly formed the words. "Read it, please."

"Honey, I..."

Her head shook slowly and she looked past him for a brief moment. When she focused back on the camera she mouthed. "Have to go, read it. I..." she stopped herself. "Can't stay. Sorry, so sorry." Then she faded and disappeared.

"Tracy!" He threw the phone on the bed, stared at the book and wrestled with more emotions than he wanted to feel. He'd been able to push away the fact that she was dead until now. Seeing her ghost, watching her fade, it brought his walls crashing down but what was underneath those walls was an odd sense of overwhelming numbness. _I should be sobbing, feeling something but I just can't. Madison, Jess, Mom now her. Leaving Amelia, I'm just tired, so tired of it all. It hurts, I can feel that and I know that whatever's in there will just dredge everything back up. But she hung around long enough to tell me to read it. Haunted me, it's that important to her. _He leaned forward, scooted close enough to the table to grab the book and leaned back against the wall. "All right Tracy, I'll read it. Not all of it, I'm guessing whatever you want me to read is near the back. You can rest now." The temperature of the room returned to normal, he pulled open the back cover and flipped through the blank pages until his eyes hit the words. "Dear Sam..."

_Here we go..._

It was dated about a week before she called asking for help.

"Well, here I am. Writing this instead of having the guts to tell you. Funny isn't it? I'll take on any monster you show me but breaking my rules scares the living crap out of me. The worst part is, I'm not scared you'd say no, I'm scared you'd say yes. This is coming out all backwards. If you ever read this you'll probably laugh at how stupid I sound."

_Not at all, I'm right there with you. _

"About a year ago I guess, after our hook up in Idaho, I couldn't stop thinking about you. Yeah, sure be smug, but it wasn't about the sex, which was frigging outstanding by the way."

_Yeah it was. Good thing that room was pretty well soundproofed, either that or the rooms next to us were empty. I was really expecting to get kicked out that time. _

"I thought about the conversations we had, how much I wanted to call you more, talk to you. God, I sound like I'm sixteen and crushing on some boy. Fact is, I had to force myself to not call you, not try to meet again for a few months. I knew if I called too soon you'd get the idea that something was going on with me. So I counted the days and started finding justifications to break the rules next time we met. Telling myself that hanging around for a few hours afterwards wasn't really spending the night as long as I left before sunrise, that meeting for dinner first wouldn't be a bad thing. We could have some drinks, prolong the excitement a bit, you know, maybe actually go on a date. Not just meet up for a few crazy hours and split. I'd build it all up in my head then reality would come crashing in, how pointless it would be. How it would never work, how it would just make the inevitable end of things that much worse.

We both know the odds for survival for people like us, I'd list all the people I lost over the years and asked myself if you and I got serious if I wanted to deal with the pain of losing you. My mom always told me that if I became a hunter and met someone, I had to ask myself if the joy would be worth the pain, because the pain always comes. I mean everyone dies, but we tend to die a helluva a lot sooner than most. She said for her and Dad it was, he died a few years back, but she doesn't regret the years they were married. I thought about it, we're both hunters and I get along with Dean well enough, at least when he's not trying to get in my pants, but then I thought about you. You don't talk about the people you've lost but I've heard the stories, my mom knew your Dad, hunted with him once or twice. I know there's been others, plus the rumors of what happened with Dean and all that crazy Apocalypse shit; which I don't know if it's true but knowing the two of you, it wouldn't surprise me. Anyway, I didn't know if I even wanted to give you that hope again, just to lose it when I die. I mean, we have fun, end up with some great memories, so why spoil it?"

_Yeah, why take a risk, right?_ _Why try to have something more than a night every few months, have a real relationship. How could that possibly be a good thing?_ He stopped himself, _It's not her fault. Don't be pissed at her. I've had the same thoughts so many times._

"Fast forward to the night in your underground hunter hidey hole. Being there, with you, in some place safe, that no monster could get to. All the usual reasons I had to not break the rules didn't hold water anymore. I mean, sure we could still get killed on a job but you had a place to get away from it all. A home. I didn't grow up on the road like you did but no home is really safe, no home except that Bunker. When you asked me if I was thinking about breaking my rules that night, I was. I wanted to wake up next to you, cook breakfast, all that domestic shit I never thought I would do. I knew if I told you that you would just wrap me up in your arms and not let me go. That it would make leaving again that much harder, and that much harder the next time and the next time, till I didn't want to leave at all."

_I'd been wanting to do that for much longer than a year, not let you leave. You weren't hiding it all that well._

"I forced myself to leave that night. I had to, what I was feeling, I just wasn't sure how to handle it. What to say. I didn't want to use that word because it would open a door that neither of us may be able to close again. I ended up crying like a pathetic teenager after I left. I almost turned around and pounded on your door. I wish I had. These things I'm hunting now, I have a bad feeling about them, and you know how hunter instincts work. So in case things don't end well I'm taking this chicken shit route to tell you that I care a lot more about you than I should. If they do end well, I'll take it as a hint from the powers that be to get my crap together and tell you to your face.

This may not be the most romantic letter you'll ever read, but you know me well enough to get it.

Your one and only Sexpot,

Tracy"


	17. Going Home (not quite done)

He set the book down on the table to his right, turned the light off, slid back down in between the sheets and stared into the darkness. The numbness started to shatter piece by piece, gently ripped to shreds by the slow trickle of what ifs and I should'ves that he didn't even try to push away. _Tried it Dean's way, ended up in the same exact spot. Just accept it, there's no point in even trying anymore. Just give it up. When it hurts too much, just remember the good times, they're all you're going to have. _Sleep never really came to him that night.

Somewhere in that restless, mind numbing, half doze that he'd managed to reach at some point during the night, he heard his phone go off. He ignored it, an unknown and unknowable amount of time passed and his phone buzzed again. He picked it up, threw it on the other bed and rolled back over. The traffic noise increased, horns honked, he heard people moving around and light crept across the wall that housed the window. _I should get up. Fuck it. The hospital will feed him. _He rolled away from the window, pulled the covers over his head to block what light did get through the curtains and stared at the chipped, fake, wood grain of the night stand. The faint sound of his phone buzzing reached his ears through the layers of blankets. _That thing goes off one more time I'm throwing it into the wall. What the hell am I going to do? Sit there at the hospital and watch crappy daytime TV with him. There's no reason to talk about this, nothing to say or feel that I haven't said or felt before. Just want to be alone. _

Even though he'd tried to avoid them, they came to him, memories of her. Memories that just a few days ago made him smile when she'd called him for help, those same exact memories were now laced with sorrow and loss. _Can't even enjoy them now. It's not like I can text her and make some comment that'd make her come right back with some inside innuendo that would make us both smile. She had some damn good ones too. We both were afraid of the same thing, saying yes. How stupid is that? We tried to ignore what was there and it still hurts like hell losing her. Damned if I do, damned if I don't. _

The room phone rang, it's piercing tone making him jump. _So not used to an actual ringer going off anymore. He'll just keep calling. Fine. _He fumbled with the phone but eventually got it next to his ear. "What?"

"So you are still alive," Dean said. "Was about to send Liv over to check on you. You do know it's almost noon right?"

"And?"

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing..."

"Uh huh," Dean obviously didn't buy that, "Well they want to keep me here until tomorrow. Not too thrilled about that."

"Stay, it's not like there's anything worth doing right now, or in the near future." He didn't even bother trying to hide the bitterness in his voice.

"Sam? Do some late night reading?"

He didn't reply.

A sigh reached his ears, "Get up, come over."

"Why? Won't help. I can sit here and stare at the walls just as easily as I can there."

"You know why, don't make me send the zombie over to keep an eye on you. I will."

"Then don't, or do. I really don't care." He hung up, seconds later his text message alert went off, then it went off again and again. "Godamnit!" He gave in and grabbed his phone.

"I'll just annoy you. Eventually you'll get up." The first message said.

"Up yet?" Was the next one.

"You promised me pie. I'm still broken you know."

The next one pushed back the emptiness just enough.

"Oh hell, Days of our Lives is on and it's one of the episodes that guy people think is me is in. I think the old lady in the next room is eyeing me. Help."

He stared at the phone screen, the edges of his mouth curling up in a wry grin and started typing. "Maybe she's some rich cougar. Could be your ticket out of hunting."

"Would rather be back in Hell, seriously. Gross. You on your way?"

_I give up, "_You win."

A thumbs up appeared on his screen, "Make sure you get a fork. See ya soon."

He rolled out of bed, every single muscle was sore and stiff, "Ow, Jesus." It wasn't so much the fight the day before but how tense he'd been and the lack of real sleep. He hobbled into the shower, cleaned up, got dressed and drove to the nearest grocery store where he grabbed a piece of apple pie, a cup of Pete's Place coffee, a plastic fork and a huge sandwich for himself, then headed to the hospital.

He carried the bags through the lobby and into Dean's room. The bit of humor Dean's text had provided him had already left him but he tried to put on a decent facade as he dug the pie out of the bag. "Here you go, with fork."

The grin on Dean's face made him feel a bit better as he sat down and started wolfing down the sandwich. He hadn't been in the mood to eat the night before even though he'd been starving.

"About damn time," Dean said in between bites. "I was wasting away here on hospital food."

"I can see that."

They didn't speak again until they'd finished their food. Dean tossed the fork and plastic plate into the trash can, took a sip of coffee, leaned back and gave him a serious look. "Read the whole thing?"

"No. Here." He pulled his phone out of his pocket, cued up the video of Tracy's ghost and passed the phone to his brother.

Dean kept his expressions mostly off his face but his eyes went from shocked to sad to concerned then he handed the phone back. "Damn, sorry. At least she wasn't vengeful."

"Yeah, I guess."

"Sure she's not still around?"

He shrugged, "We have her hairbrush and her diary. I hope not but we won't know until..."

"We can't do it the usual way, unless Liv's willing to risk her job and try to explain how a body disappeared."

"I..I know. I just read the letter she left at the end. Sounds like her Mom's still alive."

"I did some calling around while I was waiting for you to get out of bed," Dean stated, "Jerry knew her, he's been to her house. She's over in Olathe, Kansas, at least she was a few years ago."

Dean didn't go into details as why that information was important but he got the hint. "Olathe?"

"Yeah."

_I don't know how often they talked but still, she should know what happened. _

"We can pay for it, call Liv and set it up," Dead offered, "Either way she'll be at rest. No ties to here and it won't be hanging over you."

He looked out the window in Dean's room; an unexpectedly intense desire to read the whole thing hitting him.

Dean picked up the remote for the TV and he heard a male voice trying to coax some women into sleeping with him, "Think about it," Dean said, "What the hell? Is it a marathon of all the episodes that guy was in?"

He looked at the screen, "Take twenty years off, it could be you. There's a pretty strong resemblance." Then he looked out the window that led into the hall and saw an elderly woman staring at his brother. "She seems to think so."

Dean shifted his gaze, the woman looked away quickly. "If she waves or smiles at me, so help me God."

"What? Can't fend off the elderly fangirl?"

Dean glared at him, "You know I can kill you with a plastic fork, right? Break it in half and it will do the job."

"Don't think rings of salt will help with this one," He stood up. "Good luck."

"You can't be leaving me," Dean whined, "Not with her right there."

He leaned over and patted Dean's shoulder, "Somehow I think you'll survive."

"I hate you Sammy, I really do."

"Hey, I brought you pie."

"Finally," Dean grumbled, scooted down lower in the bed and started changing the channel, "Let me know what you decide to do."

"I will, call ya later."

"Yeah, yeah. Just hope fangirl over there doesn't attack me."

"Just smile and offer to sign something for her."

Dean narrowed his eyes, "With my luck she'd want me to sign.."

"Stop," he interrupted. "Don't go there. TMI man. See ya."

"Yeah."

He left and made it back to the hotel room about twenty minutes later. "Okay darling, I don't know if you're still around somehow but we're going to make sure you're taken care of." He settled onto the bed and picked her diary back up. "I would have said yes to making things more, but you already knew that. I don't think it would have made a difference as to how much this hurts but I know why you held back. Since we won't get to tell each other stupid childhood stories and all that I'll do the next best thing. I'll miss you and.." he paused, hoping the temperature of the room would drop so he'd know she was hearing him, "I cared about you way too much too. I love you, always will."

Before he opened the cover he pulled his phone out of his pocket and called Liv.

"Hello Samuel."

"Samuel?"

"My apologies," Her words very deliberate, as if she was speaking from a whole other era. "Channeling a rather prim and proper elderly woman. I assume your given name was Samuel."

"Uh yeah, and wow. Those personalities really do take you over don't they?"

"Quite. Is your brother well?"

"Yes," he replied falling into her speech pattern without even realizing it. "He's doing well. I need a favor."

"Of course. How can I help you?"

"Tracy's body.."

"Oh.." her voice softened and some of her own personality came through, "Are you claiming her?"

"Yes, the funeral home Lowell frequents. Can you set up a cremation for her? We can pay for it. I have a few things that I want to make sure go with her."

It took a moment for her to respond, "You want to make sure she can't come back?"

"Yeah."

"Of course Sam."

"We know where her mother lives, I probably could have asked you but that wasn't really on my mind yesterday."

"She lives in Olathe. I'll write the address down for you. I know her phone number too if you want that." She offered.

"Sure."

"I'll let you know when it's set up so you can sign for her and add what you need to."

"Thanks Liv."

"You're welcome."

"Bye."

"See you soon." She hung up. He put his phone down and opened to the first page of Tracy's diary.


	18. Closure (no not done yet)

It took him three hours to get through the entire thing. He'd busted out laughing at some of her adventures when she was younger, her descriptions of other lovers who she'd sworn to never hook up with again and just some of her random thoughts. Her descriptions of when her family had fought Charles' family sent chills through him and he realized just how lucky they were to have had another supernatural creature with them. _I think I need to send Liv flowers or something. Damn, we would have been toast without her. _When he read over what she'd written about the two of them everything came flooding back, things he'd forgotten or just hadn't understood her perspective on things. The last year or so of entries had become increasingly hard for him to read because they focused more and more about her feelings about him. He'd had to stop reading at a few points because the tears that welled up in his eyes were blurring the words on the page. As he finished her letter to him again and set aside the book he'd knew that he couldn't let the words she'd written go with her. _I know I need to burn this, but keeping copies of it won't tie her here. _

He dug into her bags, pulled out her brush, methodically stripped all her hair from it and put it in the plastic bag he'd saved from his sandwich earlier. _We'll burn the clothes and the rest somewhere a long the way. _He grabbed his jacket, laptop, keys, the bag, her diary and went to the nearest copy shop, already knowing the pages he wanted to keep with him. His phone rang just as he set the last page on the glass, closed the lid and hit copy.

"Hi Liv,"

"Hi, everything's ready."

"All right, I'll be there soon. Just finishing something up."

"I had her taken to the funeral home already, I'll meet you there with the paperwork. It will go faster that way. I'll text you the address and what it costs. Lowell got you a discount."

That surprised him, "Really? Why?"

"Let's just say that complicated zombie love thing came in handy," she replied.

"All right then. I won't ask for details."

"That young man," her voice becoming much older again, "Is the correct thing to say. One should never pry into the love life of young woman." There was beat before she spoke again in a more normal tone, "I really am getting sick of this brain."

"I think it's kind of cute."

"Shut up. See you soon."

She hung up and an address and a dollar amount appeared on his phone's screen. "That's the discounted amount? Good thing we scored well at the last few pool halls we hustled. Wow." He finished making the copies and purchased a spiral bind comb, front and back cover then drove to the address she had sent him. _Not really dressed for this, but then we never really dressed up for any other hunter's funeral we've done. _Reading her diary had banished some of his earlier sorrow, he knew she wouldn't want him eating himself up with regret. _She was right. We had some good times, seized what we could and made the best of it. That's all anyone can try to do no matter what kind of life they lead. _He parked in the front of the funeral home and spotted Liv standing under a tree by the door. She was wearing a long black dress with a waist length fitted jacket. As he gathered up the diary and the bag a stray thought hit him, _Do zombies have to worry about getting sunburned? _He joined her under the tree.

"Hey,"

He could tell she wanted to hug him, provide some sort of comfort but felt awkward offering it to him. "Hi, they're ready for you. Do you want me to put those things inside the box for you?"

"Would you? I don't really.." _Want t_o s_ee her like that again..._

"Of course." She nodded and settled for putting her arm through his as they walked inside.

"You look good," he observed, trying to put the thought of what was about to happen out of his mind, "Arm looks like it's working. How's the chest wounds?"

"Still healing but should be fine by tomorrow. How's your arm?"

"Sore but all right. I read more about when her family took those things on. If it hadn't been for you..."

She looked up at him, "I just did what had to be done Sam. Like you noticed earlier, these personalities push me more than I like sometimes." She lowered her voice as they entered the main room of the funeral home, more out of respect then then fact that anything was actually going on since they were alone.

"Do you still want to take care of the others?" He asked, also in hushed tones.

"I'm not sure. I'm not a killer. Not that you are, well I am, at least a part of me is." She looked away from him as she fumbled for the right words. "I can help you track them, give you leads but I am not sure I could actually do what has to be done now. Tracy's faded now. That was mostly her influence before, besides, I don't think it would be good for me. I want to stay human Sam, as long as I can anyway. I do want to help though."

_Didn't realize I was worried about her until now. I don't want her to kill either. _"I understand, we'll figure something out."

He felt the tension leave her as they turned one final corner into a stark, spartan room. "Thank you. Here we are."

There was a long, rectangular box resting on a slab which was placed in front of an clear panel in the wall. A brown haired man who was not much taller than Liv was standing off the side. He was dressed in a black suit and somehow managed to fade into the background of the stark surroundings; as if the responsibility he bore, aiding the dead to cross over to their final rest, somehow stripped him of his own importance. He was a facilitator to others, who he was was simply not important.

"Thank you for doing this on such short notice," Sam said.

"Of course." The man nodded and handed him a clipboard. "I, unfortunately, do need you to do this first."

He took the clipboard, signed the papers and pulled a wad of cash out of his jacket pocket "Sure."

The man looked at the large amount of cash, counted it, then looked up at him but chose not to comment. "Would you like a few moments?"

"I'm all right. Liv?"

She nodded, took the diary and bag from him and walked to the box, lifted the lid just enough to slide the diary and bag inside, then closed it again.

The man stepped forward, pushed a button and flames appeared behind the clear panel in the wall. "Would you like to step outside?"

"No," he replied. Liv stepped closer and took hold of his hand.

"I'll stay with him," she said.

The man nodded and pushed another button. The panel opened, they felt a small wave of heat and the box began inching closer to the flames.

_Rest Tracy. You earned it._

Ten minutes later he was walking back outside holding a much smaller box with her remains inside. Liv had offered to take him out for lunch or dinner but he declined. He put the box in the trunk and went back to the hospital.

Dean took one look at him and turned the TV off. "What happened?"

"It's done. Liv set it up. We're heading out tomorrow as soon as I can check you out. Also Liv is willing to track the others but not finish them off, that was more Tracy talking when she offered to hunt. She knows the others are a problem but is afraid handling it will push her closer to her own edge."

"Makes sense," Dean said with a nod. "Probably just as well. Will be nice to have someone on the ground here to do all the legwork though."

"Yeah."

"You okay?"

"Will be."

"Good."

"Here," Sam said as he pulled his laptop out, turned it on and logged into the hospital's wifi. "Watch something other than soaps, just not porn please. I think I'm going to see when Liv gets off work and take her through some hunter basics. She should know them since she has Tracy's memories but figured it wouldn't hurt."

"Aw yeah, wifi. I can catch up on my shows, binge watch time," Dean said as he logged into a Netflix account.

"Which card is that on?"

"That dude from Days that looks like me, Jensen Ackles. I figured it was a fake name. Who'd name their kid Jensen?"

"Seriously? Wow. Well enjoy. I'll drop by later, here's the charger, " he said as he placed the cord on the table next to the bed.

"Thanks, have fun."

"Yeah." He walked out, texting Liv as he did. She replied that she'd just gotten a fresh body so it would take her a few hours unless he wanted to drop by the morgue. _Is it bad that the morgue sounds better than an empty hotel room? This is what my life has come to, hanging out with a zombie who's doing an autopsy. Great, just great._ He replied that he'd be over in a few.

He walked down the stairs and was greeted by the sight of Liv putting a fork full of brains into her mouth and a shirtless African American man's body on the table in front of her. She was wearing a rather bright pink shirt under her lab coat and black fitted slacks. "Uh, hi."

She stopped moving, looked up, swallowed as quickly as she could and set her fork down. "Sorry."

"No problem, that's slightly less disturbing then the first time I saw you eating. What happened to him?" He asked as he walked closer.

"Stabbed to death. Are you sure you want to watch this?"

"Not my first autopsy." He sat down on a stool, "Oddly enough this seemed the better choice than sitting in a hotel or hospital room. Not sure what that says about my life choices."

A quick smile crossed her face as she picked up the scalpel, "That you have a rather Gothic, twisted view of life; preferring to watch an undead thing perform an autopsy to help solve a murder rather then spend time with the living."

"That sounds better than some of the things I was thinking. We'll go with that."

She nodded and set about slicing the man's chest open. In between her removing various organs, weighing and charting them he explained how to track creatures, what to look for when it came to hunting zombies, aliases, trailing cars and most of the basics of how to survive when hunting supernatural creatures. Halfway through the conversation it dawned on him that she was listening more because she knew he needed to keep his mind busy, not out of any real need to know what he was saying, "Of course you probably know all of this already."

"Mostly," she offered, "Well okay, yes."

"Thanks."

She set the man's heart down and looked across the corpse at him. "Sam, in the last few days you've lost someone close to you, watched her being cremated, fought for your life, took your brother to the hospital with serious injuries and met a zombie who almost ate you. Ninety nine percent of the population would be curled up in the fetal position crying and dealing with massive mental and emotional trauma. You, on the other hand, are here, having an intelligent conversation with me. Least I can do is give you a way to deal with all of that until you can take Tracy home. Besides, Ravi won't be back until tomorrow and it gets a little quiet down here without him. It's no problem at all." Once she weighed and documented the heart she put it in a marked container then picked up a needle and thread. "Let me sew him back up and put him on ice, I think you need to get away from everything death related. I know some great food trucks at a park close to here. You need some sun, fresh air."

"Says the incredibly melanin deficient zombie."

"I'm just trying to bring Goth back in the most hardcore way possible."

"Well, you definitely make a statement."

She held her right hand up and made the "devil's horn" symbol. "Undead for life man!"

He laughed and returned the gesture, "Rock on Liv, rock on."

She returned to sewing, finished up and rolled the body to the storage fridge, then rejoined him. "I'll drive," she offered, "Let's go."

They left, she locked the door behind her and they spent the next several hours aimlessly walking around a rather extensive park. They both made a point to keep the conversation as far from hunting related topics as possible.

_Yeah, I needed this. Glad she suggested it. _

She looked at her watch, "I'd better get back."

"I should check in on Dean too. This was a good idea, thanks."

"The first few weeks after the boat incident, I came here a lot trying to make sense of it all." She said, once again taking his hand briefly in hers. "It's a good place to think, or forget. Sometimes forgetting is the best way to think it seems."

He didn't reply, they got back in her car and headed back to the morgue.


	19. Long Black Road

After Liv got them back to the morgue he texted Dean he was going to go back to the hotel and crash, the last few days of little to no sleep was finally catching up to him. He walked in, took his jacket off, collapsed on the bed and didn't remember anything else until his phone rang. It took him a minute or so to find it and accept the call. "Hey."

"You coming to bust me out of this place or what?" Dean asked.

"Huh? What time is it?" He had to blink a few times and rub at his eyes to get the numbers on the digital clock in the room to come into focus. "Ten? In the morning? Holy crap! Sorry man. Guess I needed sleep."

"Guess so. Move it, I can't handle another hospital meal."

"Right. I'll check out of here, get you some crutches and head over."

"Thanks." Dean hung up.

He changed, packed all the bags including Tracy's in the car, checked out, stopped by a drug store to get crutches and headed to the hospital. _We should just pack crutches in the trunk, I think we have four sets back home at this point. _He grabbed some clothes for Dean who changed, took the crutches from Sam, signed himself out and followed Sam out through the lobby.

Sam stopped at the door, "Brace yourself," he warned Dean. "She looks a lot worse off than she actually is."

Dean gritted his teeth and Sam was pretty sure he heard a low growl echo up from Dean's throat. "Let's get it over with."

They walked outside, Dean waited by the curb as Sam pulled Baby up next to him.

Dean's face fell and he ran his hand along the roof of the car. "Oh Baby, I'm so sorry. Look what they did to you. They got theirs, Baby. We kicked their fuckin' asses."

An older man who was walking by caught the last sentence, stopped and stared at the car. "You damn well better have son. If someone did that to my car, well, let's just say they'd be awfully hard to find after I got done with them."

"Trust me," Dean muttered. "Ain't no one going to see these bastards ever again."

The man nodded, "Good, gotta take care of a girl like that. She'll take care of you." He resumed his walk and Dean looked at Sam.

"I can't stand riding in her when she looks like this, I feel so damn bad."

"We'll be home in a few days. I'll start working on her, you tell me what to do. You can't be lifting bumpers and rims with those stitches in your gut."

Dean patted the roof again, "We'll fix you up sweetheart." Then he opened the passenger door, put his crutches in the back seat and got in. Sam got in the driver's side and they pulled out.

"Do you want to say bye to Liv?" Sam asked.

"Not really, no offense. She's nice and all but I really want to get back home. We're already making one side trip as it is. Call Tracy's Mom yet?"

"Meant to, fell asleep, but I'm not really sure telling her over the phone this far out would be the best thing. Figured I would call when we're closer in. No point in telling her any sooner than we have to."

"Yeah, see your point. Let's get some breakfast to go and head out," Dean said.

He nodded, handed his phone to Dean to have him text Liv that they were leaving and would be in touch. She replied and told them to be safe. Sam pulled onto the interstate and headed east towards Kansas to devastate Tracy's Mom by telling her that her daughter's life had ended filled with pain and at the claws of a monster they'd thought was long dead.

They took the trip back in easy stages, Dean couldn't sit for too many hours without his leg stiffening up and his stomach wounds aching. The hospital had had a pharmacy so he'd gotten pain pills and antibiotics but he'd taken so many pain pills over the years he'd built up quite the tolerance. As a result it was three days before they pulled into Olathe, normally they could have made the drive in a day and a half, Sam pulled into a parking lot of an IHOP and turned the car off. He closed his eyes for a brief moment, pulled out his phone and scrolled to the number Liv had given him.

"Want me to talk to her?" Dean offered.

"No." The phone rang twice and a strong, confident woman's voice answered.

"Hello?"

"Hello, is this Ms. Callahan, Tracy Callahan's mother?"

There was a brief pause, "Yes."

He could hear it in her voice already, the fear, "Hi, my name is Sam. Are you going to be home for a few hours?"

"Why?"

"I have some news, about Tracy."

"What is it?" Tight, controlled, fighting the inevitable. A hunter's voice, there was no mistaking it.

"I'd rather tell you in person, I can be there in fifteen minutes."

"I'll be here." She hung up.

"I'll be right back," he told Dean. "Going to change."

"Change?" Dean asked.

"Into my suit. Don't feel right doing this in street clothes."

"Get mine too," Dean said, "I'll go with you."

"You sure?"

Dean just gave him a long, even look.

"All right." He grabbed both of their suits, they went inside, changed and drove on to the house Tracy grew up in. It was a long ranch, brown style house that was tucked back away from the road. Several mature trees blocked most of it from the street view. The yard was well maintained and it seemed to be on a rather large lot. The nearest neighboring house was a good distance away from it.

"Good choice," Dean observed as they made it down the gravel drive way and parked in front of the house. "Family of hunters wouldn't want their neighbors to be able to see too much."

"Yeah, I guess." He wasn't all that interested in strategic housing locations. He carefully pulled the box he'd gotten from the funeral home out of the trunk and met Dean near the front of the car. The door opened before they'd even had a chance to knock and he instantly saw the family resemblance. Tracy was quite nearly a carbon copy of her Mom, same eyes, same chin line and cheek bones, same hair color and the same indomitable sense of resolve. _It's like seeing her ghost all over again._ He missed a step but caught himself and reached the hand that wasn't holding the box out to her.

"Sam Winchester, this is my brother Dean."

"Amanda Callahan, I'd shake your hand but," she looked down at her right arm which stopped an inch or so above her elbow.

_Shit! Well done. _

"Oh, sorry, I didn't.."

"Wait Winchester? John's kids?"

"Yes." He could see her making several connections.

"Sam...you live in Kansas somewhere right?"

"Yes."

She tightened her jaw as she fought with the grief he could see rising in her eyes, "She talked about you, quite a bit lately actually." Her eyes dropped to the box and she started to shake her head. "That's not..."

He didn't say anything at first, she took his silence for an answer and sagged against the door frame. "No, no...please..."

Dean maneuvered himself closer to her, "Ma'am, let's get inside. You should probably sit down."

She barely managed to nod, Sam gently wrapped his arm around her waist and she leaned heavily against him. He slowly guided her to the couch, set the box down on the table and sat down next to her. Dean looked around, found a box of tissue and lightly tossed it to Sam who caught it and placed it directly in front of Amanda.

Tears were already streaking down Amanda's cheeks, "When?"

"Last Thursday," Sam answered, "She got surprised, called me for backup but we didn't get there in time. I'm so sorry."

"Surprised?" Amanda looked startled by that, "She never got surprised. What happened?"

Dean shook his head, "Trust me ma'am, you really don't want details. We took care of the things that did this to her. That's all that matters."

Her immediate response was to give him a rather direct, challenging look which quickly faded as she saw how solemn he was, "I know you boys have seen your fair share of bloody, I won't push." She reached her hand out and rested it on top of the box. "I was wondering why I hadn't heard from her in a few days. I knew something was wrong, damn it."

He could see her outer mask starting to crumble and wasn't sure if she wanted company or not, "We have her things in the car. I was going to salt and burn them but, well, thought you may want them. We paid for her to be..." he gestured at the box, "but we didn't mix salt in when it happened. She came back once, to tell me something but I think she's gone now."

Amanda didn't speak for a few moments then fell back on what so many people he'd had to give bad news to in the past had, "I'm sorry," she sniffed and stood up, "Can I get you boys something to drink?"

"Beer's good, if you have it." Dean answered, "If not water or coffee works too."

She forced herself to nod and disappeared into the kitchen. He looked around the living room and was struck by how differently Tracy had been raised. There were family photos of birthdays and holidays scattered around along with other homey knick knacks and assorted clutter he always associated with normal families, not hunters. The furniture was well used, comfy and there was a sense of home, of permanence that radiated from the brick walls and wood floor. _Could Mom and Dad have done this if Mom had pulled Dad into hunting? Was this how Mom was raised? I sort of got that feeling from Samuel, that he'd had a home for Mom. _

Amanda re-emerged from the kitchen and handed them bottles of beer, "Her father was killed a few years ago, ghost got the jump on him. I told him he was too old to hunt, but he couldn't quit." She looked at him "I was hoping, well how she spoke about you..."

He was a bit hesitant to reply, she took his hand in his and gave him a small, sad smile.

"I know how hard it is as a hunter to make that choice to get involved. Don't beat yourself with the what ifs Sam. She made her own choices, she could have had a different life but hunting was what she loved. Running through a million ideas of what the future could have brought destroys what was. She was always happy when she talked about you, remember that, not this."

"Yes ma'am," he replied. "Would you like her things?"

"Yes, I think I would."

He nodded, went to the car, grabbed Tracy's bags, took them back inside and set them down next to the couch he and Amanda had been sitting on. "Amanda, she came back to tell me to read something she'd written in her diary, which I did then ended up reading the whole thing because..." _This is so awkward. _

"Go on," Amanda said.

"Anyway, her spirit seemed attached to it so I..." _It's so much easier to talk about burning corpses when you aren't talking to someone's mother. _"When I read it I knew we were going to try to find you, so I decided to make copies of the pages that I thought you would want to see, and I, well..."

She stood up, placed her arms around him and pulled him close. "She came back to make sure you saw what she wrote. It's fine Sam, she would have wanted you to have whatever it is you kept."

The numbness about Tracy's death he'd been feeling fell to pieces at her words, "I'm so sorry, we tried..."

"Shh, it's not your fault."

They clung to each other for a few minutes longer, shedding quiet tears until she pulled away and brushed some of his tears away. "I'll take care of her. Thank you for bringing her home."

_She wants to be alone, I get it but feel horrible leaving her like this. _He pulled one set of the copies he'd made out of his laptop bag and handed it to her. "Here, I hope it helps. I wrote our numbers on there, just in case."

_There it is, that wall of grief going up brick by brick around her heart. I wish I could do more. _

"I appreciate it."

She didn't exactly tell them to leave but they both got the point. Dean stood up and got his crutches under his arms, "Sorry for your loss. I didn't know her as well as Sam did but from what I did know, she was a remarkable woman."

"She was," she replied as she sat back down on the couch.

"Call us if you need anything," He restated, "We don't live that far away."

Amanda just nodded. He and Dean started walking towards the door. "Sam?" Her voice was barely a whisper.

"Yes?"

"Do you have any photos of her?"

"No."

"Wait a minute." She got up, walked down a hall and came back with a photo album. "The pics in here are from the last few years. You can have one or two if you want."

"Are, are you sure?" He'd actually already spotted a photo that had stood out to him when he walked in.

"Yes,"

"Would you mind if I took this one?" There was a small framed photo that was a close up of Tracy and her Mom. They were smiling, their arms around each other's shoulders and their heads touching. There was no hint of the fact that they had seen horrific monsters or suffered any loss or pain in their lives. They looked happy, normal and peaceful. That's how she hoped she was now, happy and peaceful.

Amanda seemed to instantly understand why he wanted that particular photo. "Not at all."

He started to pull the photo out of the frame.

"Keep the frame too Sam. It's fine."

"Thank you," he said as he carefully tucked it into his inside jacket pocket. "I'll drop by soon."

She didn't reply. They left the house, got back into Baby and pulled away.

**SIX WEEKS LATER **

He woke up to his alarm going off, opened his eyes and silenced the alarm. Dean pounded on his door a few moments later while he was still trying to get functioning. "Leaving in an hour. Wake up already."

"Yeah, yeah." He grumbled as he rolled out of bed. His eyes fell on the framed photo of Tracy and her mom that he'd set on the desk next to his bed. "Another day, another monster."

He made it to the kitchen where Dean was already drinking a cup of coffee. His leg had healed enough that he could walk on it again and the stomach wound was nothing but a scar.

"Finally!" Dean muttered in exasperation.

He groaned, "We still have a two day drive before you can even think of saying it you know."

The most impish grin he'd ever seen on his brother's face appeared. "Nope. We're officially hunting zombies so starting now all references are fair play," he cleared his throat, stood up and struck a pose, "This is my boomstick!"

He sighed and sunk his face into his hands, "Technically shotguns don't work on zombies. You know that."

"Stop being so friggin literal. It's an epic line, it will be used. Deal with it. They'll work just fine to slow them enough so I can put a bullet in their head. Better smart ass?"

"Whatever."

They ate, gathered their things and walked to the garage where Baby waited, softly gleaming in the lighting and all in one piece again. Dean started her up, smirked at Sam and turned on the radio.

"Michael Jackson?" He asked, "Seriously?"

"Best song ever for zombie hunting. Had Vincent Price and everything."

He closed his eyes, "Are we there yet?"

Dean pushed the gas pedal down, Baby's tires spun the caught and she shot forward on the long black road to Seattle.

"It's close to midnight and something evil's lurking  
In the dark  
Under the moonlight you see a sight that almost stops  
Your heart  
You try to scream, but terror takes the sound before  
You make it  
You start to freeze as horror looks you right between  
The eyes  
You're paralyzed

'Cause this is thriller, thriller night  
And no one's gonna save you from the beast about to  
Strike  
You know it's thriller, thriller night  
You're fighting for your life inside a killer  
Thriller tonight

You hear the door slam and realize there's nowhere  
Left to run  
You feel the cold hand and wonder if you'll ever see  
The sun  
You close your eyes and hope that this is just  
Imagination  
But all the while you hear the creature creepin' up  
Behind  
You're out of time

'Cause this is thriller, thriller night  
There ain't no second chance against the thing with  
Forty eyes  
You know it's thriller, thriller night  
You're fighting for your life inside a killer  
Thriller tonight

Night creatures call  
And the dead start to walk in their masquerade  
There's no escapin' the jaws of the alien this time  
(They're open wide)  
This is the end of your life

They're out to get you; there's demons closing in on  
Every side  
They will possess you unless you change the number on  
Your dial  
Now is the time for you and I to cuddle close  
Together  
All through the night I'll save you from the terrors on  
The screen  
I'll make you see

That it's a thriller, thriller night  
'Cause I can thrill you more than any ghost  
Would ever dare try  
Girl, this is thriller, thriller night  
So let me hold you tight and share a killer, diller  
Chiller  
Thriller here tonight

That it's a thriller, thriller night  
'Cause I can thrill you more than any ghost  
Would ever dare try  
Girl, this is thriller, thriller night  
So let me hold you tight and share a killer,

Darkness falls across the land  
The midnight hour is close at hand  
Creatures crawl in search of blood  
To terrorize y'awl's neighborhood  
And whosoever shall be found  
Without the soul for getting down  
Must stand and face the hounds of hell  
And rot inside a corpse's shell

The foulest stench is in the air  
The funk of forty thousand years  
And grizzly ghouls from every tomb  
Are closing in to seal your doom  
And though you fight to stay alive  
Your body starts to shiver  
For no mere mortal can resist  
The evil of the thriller." - Michael Jackson- Thriller

-End (Yes I know I left a lot of things unexplored. Need to leave room for more stories. Hope you enjoyed.)


End file.
